You should not only be contented but grateful too for what God has given you and where it has helped you arrive. However, you should have enough discontentment to keep you from stagnating where you have arrived. Within the cozy cup of contentment there should be the simmering tea of discontentment. And this discontentment becomes even more beautiful and powerful when its focus naturally and progressively shifts from narrow personal achievements and gains to a purpose of contributing to a cause much bigger than yourself.

It is inner peace and calmness that allows us to have a good look at and feel our discontentment. And it is the initiative to respond responsibly to this discontentment that makes inner peace sustainable. We need both contentment as well as discontentment in order to grow. But many fail to fine-tune the harmonious relationship between the two. You cannot focus on your work and efforts whole-heartedly unless there is peace in your mind and contentment in your heart. And you won’t have the necessary enthusiasm or the fuel to move on and on, unless you keep the flame of discontentment alive. You cannot look at discontentment and draw the necessary enthusiasm to dream and do what is possible if you allow yourself to become it i.e. allow it to consume you. Keep distance from it — the way you keep distance from fire — so that you use it without getting burnt. Make a good habit of returning to evaluate your day’s actions and performance and to refuel yourself every night with discontentment over the gap that still exists between ‘what is’ and ‘what should be’, and with commitment to go the extra mile to bridge the gap between the two, every next morning.

Anil Bhatnagar, CEO of Thrive!, is a corporate trainer, motivational speaker, career and personal growth coach, Reiki consultant, and an award winning author of four books. For more information, visit his website www.anilbhatnagar.com.

Happiness to me is

1.    When I am meditating and manage to arrive at a complete (and very mysterious) trance. On rare occasions under the spell of this trance, the sounds of what is happening right around me begin to appear to be coming from a distance. I feel almost ecstatic then.

2.    When I am sharing with my son, daughter, or my wife how much they mean to me or sharing my time with them. I clearly can feel the words of Jesus then, “All the gifts of God will someday come to an end, but love goes on for ever.”

3.    When I have an ‘aha!!!’ experience—an insight about my own behaviour or about some well guarded subtle secret of life—even if it reveals a negative side of mine.

4.    When I am expressing any of my natural gifts, painting, lecturing, acting, singing, writing. I am especially happy, when I am lecturing or conducting a workshop while sharing real-life examples through mimicry and when I am made to feel by my audience that I could entertain them or could make a difference in their lives.

5.    When I am writing–putting my thoughts and connecting them in an organized way to understand my own understanding, or doing anything creative.

6.    When I find a lot of energy within and able to pass my day as per my plan, to a great extent.

7.    When I see order, beauty, and cleanliness anywhere (I am poor myself in this regard by my own standards). I also feel happy when I see any kind of improvement at a place, or within a person.

8.    Watching the movement of everything that is natural: the squirrels, the clouds, the flowers, the river, the ocean, the stars, the moon, a beautiful painting, a smile, a beautiful face, the sparrows, etc. I am especially fond of squirrels. Also when I spot a group of birds flying, I feel so happy–as if it is about my freedom, and with tears in my eyes, I wish the same for all the birds and animals in human captivity.

9.    When I am listening to the views of and talking to a grand wise old man who has almost just arrived in this world–his physical body being just five years old or even lesser.

10.    When I am able to help out someone who is really needy.

11.    When I am able to establish a connection with others by making them understand and appreciate what I am saying, or vice versa.

Anil Bhatnagar is a corporate trainer and author.

When you do what you say it strengthens your words with the power to manifest themselves. This means that the more you do what you say to yourself or to others, the more is the chance that what you say or intend will happen. So if you feel that you lack on this account, start on one simple thing and follow it through with the corresponding action. Do it for many days till it no longer remains a challenge for you to follow it through. Pick up a slightly more difficult resolution and follow it through with the corresponding action. This way, go on empowering your words and yourself. When you say something to yourself or to others and keep your word every time, you will develop confidence in yourselves and you will start liking yourselves. With this shall begin and grow your romance with yourselves. From this romance will spring forth a burning desire to fulfil your dreams and to make a ‘life’ not merely a ‘living’.

Also start replacing the use of words such as ‘if’, ‘perhaps’, ‘may be’, ‘I’ll try’, ‘probably’, ‘it’s likely’ with more definite words such as ‘I’ll do it’, ‘absolutely’, ‘definitely’, ‘certainly’, ‘positively’ etc. You will be surprised how this gives your intentions and words the power to get manifest. You will intend and as if by magic it will happen. Such is the power of words. Strong people, families, cultures, organizations and countries that display this empowerment of words leave others much behind on every front of life. Start using this power in order to stay on your path.

Anil Bhatnagar, CEO of Thrive!, is a corporate trainer, motivational speaker, career and personal growth coach, Reiki consultant, and an award winning author of four books. For more information, visit his website www.anilbhatnagar.com.

Baby elephants are tied with a strong steel chain, which it ceaselessly attempts to break away from, but fails. The result? The elephant owners don’t need to use the metallic chain to tie it any longer when it grows into a powerful adult. Why? Because as a result of the thousands of unsuccessful attempts it made as an infant elephant, it developed an unshakeable conviction about its inability to break away from whatever it is tied with. The elephant’s conditioning or conviction did not come into being because of the metallic chain outside him, but because of an inner rope of belief that it built strand by strand with its own self-judgements in the wake of each unsuccessful attempt. Unfortunately we, as parents, let a similar process run through our own children as well — and we are a party to it, even though only unknowingly.

A person with low self-esteem cannot think beyond mere survival. His ability to dream has already been forfeited by the society. And since he cannot dream, he doesn’t feel challenged. In the absence of challenges, he cannot feel the need to mobilize his dormant inner resources…and, undisturbed, the giant within remains comfortably asleep. It is a vicious circle. In reply to a teacher’s advice, “Hard work never kills”, a student replied, “But why take a chance?” Jesus said, “Knock at the door. It will be opened unto you”. But we, like this student, ask ourselves, “Why try, when I am not sure that it will”.

Anil Bhatnagar, CEO of Thrive!, is a corporate trainer, motivational speaker, career and personal growth coach, Reiki consultant, and an award winning author of four books. For more information, visit his website www.anilbhatnagar.com.

Beware: Achievements, success, and money can give you a lot to live with, but nothing to live for. And it is not what you live with, but what you live for, that gives you hope, joy, meaning, happiness and purpose. Riches are a poor excuse for purpose! If you have to pity, pity not the one without money but the one without the purpose and the passion. Your index of wealth is not the balance in the bank but the passion you feel towards your purpose in your heart. Striking passion in your heart is akin to striking gold. The only fundamental wealth we have is that of passion. You can create anything with it and also lose anything without it. However, an insecure man feels too secure with his present to allow himself to try any experiments with it.

People say every cigarette reduces your life span by an hour. That could indeed be true, but more true is the fact that an hour spent doing something unwillingly and reluctantly has already subtracted an hour from your life. Life is not a collection of days you manage to breathe, but of ‘todays’ lived passionately to the hilt – and your life is indeed only as long as the number of such ‘todays’.

People who lack passion, feel that if they could get this promotion, or this kind of a bank balance or get rid of this physical problem, they will really be happy. But the fact is that those whom they find extremely happy or lucky in life usually have similar problems, if not more serious ones. The difference lies in the fact that the latter, unlike them, instead of getting bogged down by their problems may be having intense passion to resolve or overcome these. We human beings, like any piece of iron can propose to finish ourselves in two ways: we may rust ourselves out or we may simply wear ourselves out. Rust looks ugly; wearing out brings shine!

Anil Bhatnagar, CEO of Thrive!, is a corporate trainer, motivational speaker, career and personal growth coach, Reiki consultant, and an award winning author of four books. For more information about Anil, visit his website www.anilbhatnagar.com.

Our own good intentions are often hidden so deep that we are sometimes not even consciously aware of them. And our reactions are usually so deeply ingrained and spontaneous that we seem to be having no conscious control over them. Still we want others to judge us from the best that we can be, or from our best intentions that are hidden deep beneath our angry reactions. However, when it comes to judging others, we tend to judge others not by their inherent goodness, but without a second thought, by their panicky reactions. It seems that it gives us immense pleasure in proving that we are better persons than others—though the person we all are is the same One without the other.

There is a 20-year-old lampshade at our home that I was considering to throw away as a part of routine monthly cleaning. It suddenly struck me that except for being dirty it was still functional. I spent an hour cleaning it with Brasso and tamarind solution. Now, it had the incredible shine on it that any owner would feel proud of, and I realized what a mistake it would have been had I really thrown it away.

We all are like this beautiful shining lampshade. But we do not care to connect ourselves back to our natural luster and shine—our divinity—through the ‘Brasso’ and tamarind solution of conscious breathing, meditation, daily review of our actions, contemplation, introspection, and mindful living. We seem to have lost touch with the great potential we have, and the mission we are born to fulfill with it. Disconnected from our real inherent goodness we get easily overpowered by the dirt (our conditioned reactions) that we have allowed to gather on ourselves.

Inside the golden cage that we tend to clean with care every day, the divine bird within starves to be cleaned and fed. Those, whom we tend to admire as saints, are no more divine than the cruelest among us; they have only come to be more aware and better connected to their divine bird within through the three questions that they keep asking themselves. So next time you are about to react with anger to humiliate someone with vengeance ask yourself (like them):

1. “Is it in accordance with what I really am and stand for?”

2. “Am I reacting out of my past conditioning (and reinforcing it thereby) or acting out of the lessons learnt thereof?

3. Am I, a few moments from now, going to feel peaceful, happy and contented, or regret what I am about to do (or not do) or speak (or not speak—for example, saying that you are grateful)?
 
The more often you ask these questions during the day the more quickly you will regain your connection with your real divine and blissful self within. However the practical problem in this is the fact that we get so carried away by our ceaseless thoughts, emotions and the activities of the day that we usually do not have the briefest of intervals at our disposal to have the opportunity to ask these three questions and the dirt of our conditioned responses keeps on accumulating. Here is the trick called ‘Develop your backpedaling  muscle’ to take care of this problem.

Develop your `backpedaling’ muscle to keep the dirt from accumulating.

Often people suffer more from their negative emotions and consequent reactions based on them than from others’ deeds that evoke them.

So let your actions stem from your core self instead from your conditioned reactions. Shift your focus of attention from judging what the external world is doing to you to observing how you are responding to it. Others can offend and hurt you only if you permit them to.

And we permit them to offend and hurt us only when

a) We resist their freedom to act the way they want to even if it is absurd, immature, cruel, and unjust or seemingly at our cost.

b) We judge others’ actions, especially when we do so negatively. Without a judgment there is no ‘emovere’ or disturbance, and in its absence the undisturbed stillness of the present moment still continues to remain with you. And your judgments are after all merely a collection of thoughts.

Others’ wrong behaviour, in fact, belongs to us because it is always a reflection of what is wrong with our own inner world. It is therefore a feedback we can use as important lessons in our lives. Although our negative emotions seem to be our responses to something external they are purely our own creation. We create them because we do not want to take the responsibility for any unpleasant thing and being good at projecting things out we tend to locate their source outside ourselves. Negative emotions, in fact, are the way some people have learnt to process and respond to external happenings with.

While cycling we start backpedaling, in case we want to stay in balance without wanting to move forward with the ongoing usual fast speed lest it may make us ram into a vehicle waiting at the red light. Similarly whenever you are about be carried away by the strong winds of the ill learnt emotional upheavals and negative reactions rising within you, imagine that you are ‘back pedaling’ i.e. you are letting your negative reactions and emotions be watched by you without being acted upon. This is best done in two parts: begin to become aware of your breathing and then start anticipating the response your emotions and habits are about to drive you to. This will also give you the necessary time interval and opportunity to ask and answer the above three vital questions. Though, it is simple but shall prove to be a life-transforming habit for you.

Initially you may find that it isn’t easy backpedaling (holding yourself from action that your negative emotions are tending to drive you to), but every single time you bring yourself to manage to do it you will be strengthening your ‘backpedaling’ muscle. Learn to sacrifice what you are (all that appears to be tempting, convenient and easy now) for the sake of what you want yourself to be (the difficult part that you want to eventually turn into easy, convenient and spontaneous).

With practice, as your back pedaling muscle grows in strength you will begin to realize that you are regaining your will power and grip over your life. An infant finds it difficult to grip a ball or a spoon but with practice it becomes easier. Things become easier for her only because, despite the inconvenience, she first takes up the challenge to consistently do what appears difficult to her. How intelligent would it have been for her to choose instant ease and convenience every time only to eternally postpone the ease that was supposed to be her birthright?

To lead a blissful life is no one else’s but our own responsibility. When we blame others for keeping such a life from us, it still is kept from us. Fixing blame does not fix the problem. Only by taking responsibility and working towards it, does a blissful life become ours.