Past life regression therapy attempts to put this search for a perfect therapy to a logical end. It attempts to strike at the root of an issue, at the level of the soul. That is why this therapy is also known as the ‘soul therapy’. It works on the premise that we are eternal beings. We have lived before and we will live again. As eternal beings, we carry all our thoughts, impressions, emotions, and feelings from time immemorial into our present being. Hence, most of our so-called ills have their roots in some of these thoughts, impressions, feelings, and emotions. To understand our problems, we need to first understand their root cause.

We have all heard of the law of cause and effect. It can be beautifully summed up in the phrase ‘as you sow, so shall you reap’. The cause is always in the past, the effect is in the present. Science says that every action produces an equal and opposite reaction. This scientific law is in complete sync with the law of cause and effect. When we see an undesired effect in our present life, we somehow want to get rid of it. But the laws of the universe are infallible. Try as hard as we can, we cannot seem to get rid of these ‘effects’. The solution lies in ‘understanding’ the ‘cause’, then and only then can we break free from this cycle.

This is where past life regression therapy comes to our rescue. Under a scientifically proven and safe procedure the therapist takes you on an un-chartered journey of self-discovery. You re-live memories of past lives where the root cause of your present day problem lies. Your soul draws the parallels between your past life experience and your current life patterns. Things become clear in your mind and new understanding dawns. You realize that you yourself are responsible for all your so-called problems. Armed with this new understanding, you also realize that the solution to your problem lies within yourself as well. In fact it becomes crystal clear to you. You start looking at life, situations, circumstances, and people with new eyes. You undergo a metamorphosis. The purpose of your life becomes clear to you and you embark upon the rest of your present life journey with confidence and élan.

Can any other therapy on earth make such tall claims? Past life regression therapy is the therapy of the 21st century. It not only helps cure diseases, resolve relationship issues, and brings in clarity; but also helps us grow spiritually. We get answers to eternal questions like, ‘Who am I?’, ‘Am I just a physical body, or is there something more to me?’, ‘What is the purpose of my life?’, ‘What is death?’, ‘How can I fulfill my destiny?’ etc. In fact this therapy is a short route to enlightenment. Since this therapy makes you ‘experience’ your TRUTH, you can not be easily dissuaded from that.

Fortunately leading scientists of the world are taking this branch of science seriously and giving it all the time, energy, and deliberation that it deserves. Dr. Brian Weiss, MD of the USA, and Dr. Newton, MD of India are the pioneers in this field. Besides them thousands of therapists are working in this path-breaking field. At this present time on earth, this therapy is the need of the hour.

Benefits of past life regression

•    Past life regression helps to heal chronic diseases. It helps the individuals to understand the karmic patterns involved in illness, and the resultant energy blockages. The understanding that flows during a session clears the energy blockages; thereby healing the dis-ease. Take for example a person who had a past life in which s/he was not allowed to express his/her views or had to pay a heavy price for expressing them; such a person may have a disease of the throat. After re-living the concerned past life and releasing the trauma, the healing occurs.
•    Past life regression helps overcome fears and phobias, by bringing about an understanding of the specific root cause. For example, a person had claustrophobia (fear of closed spaces). He re-lived a past life in which he was buried alive in an earthquake. Once he released that trauma, he was able to overcome his fear.
•    Past life regression improves one’s inter-personal relationships by making the person understand the impact of past life relationships with those individuals. The person is able to see the larger perspective and therefore the relationships are ‘healed’.
•    Past life regression frees us from fear of death once and for all. Through exploring our past lives we realize that we are eternal beings. We have been here before and we will come back again. This understanding completely eliminates the fear of death.

Common misconceptions about past life regression therapy

•    Only the present life is relevant, past lives have no effect on the present life.

In reality, we are the products of ‘all our experiences’ carried within us from all our past lives in addition to the experiences of the present life. The past life therapy helps get rid of the negative patterns of the past which continue to affect our present life.

•    Past is past and better left alone.

Scientific research indicates that all our memories, including those of the past lives, are stored in the mind field. We carry these memories and their effects in our energy field in the present moment, and unconsciously act out of these stored beliefs and experiences. Releasing the past is an important step, and can only be undertaken once we understand it.

• The past life memories during regression are experienced due to the suggestion of the therapist.

Past life regression therapists do not give suggestions during regression. They only direct the client to seek the root cause of an issue. The client’s sub-conscious reveals the memories.

•    Past life regression therapy can be done by anyone.

It is important to be treated by someone who is trained and experienced in the field. Only an experienced practitioner whose belief system is compatible with the spiritual science of past lives should conduct regression work.

•    If we really had past lives, we would remember them.

In reality there are occasions when we do remember our past lives. This happens when:

•    We meet a person for the first time but feel that we know this person well.
•    We visit a place for the first time but feel that we have been here before.
•    We sit in deep mediation and have a past life recall.
•    Child prodigies exhibit talents and abilities that can not be explained by the circumstances or experiences of their current lives.

Finally, keep an open mind towards this therapy and try it out. You have nothing to lose; it is all about gain without pain!!!!!

Chitra Jha is a trainer of a refreshing genre. She conducts tailor-made workshop on Enlightened Living, Enlightened Healing, Enlightened Parenting, Enlightened Eating, Enlightened Death, Past Life Regression and Spiritual Science. She does one-on-one sessions and small group therapy sessions as well. Contact chitrajhaa@gmail.com.

My teacher Sirshree tells this story of a monkey who got trapped in a hall of mirrors. He looked at the monkeys in the mirror and growled. All the monkeys growled back. He made faces at the monkeys in the mirrors; they did just the same. This monkey was quite smart. He realized that he cannot possibly fight with so many monkeys (they were all around him), so he decided to sit quietly and see what happens. To his surprise, all the other monkeys too sat down quietly. We too are like that monkey, trapped in this hall of mirrors called earth. What we need to understand is that if we change ourselves, the world around us will automatically change!

In this endeavour to change the world by changing ourselves, our relationships play a major role. In fact, we look at everything in ‘relation’ to some or the other thing. This looking ‘in relation’ creates our 3D reality. Do you at times feel that you should have handled a relationship slightly differently? Are you one of those people who choose to just ignore reality and live in denial? Do you want to heal your relationships in this new year?

Let us see how you can make a difference in your own world.

•    There are three most important words that each of us must learn to use effectively. These words sound very simple, and commonplace, but they are very effective. These words are ‘I am sorry’. These words are often left unsaid, because of our fragile ego. We feel belittled if we use these words. The fact is that saying ‘I am sorry’ doesn’t mean that we are admitting to committing a crime. When we say, ‘I am sorry’, we are effectively saying that we are sorry for causing hurt to the other person. If a relationship is important to us, we won’t hesitate in using these special remedial words. After the situation is under control, all parties involved, need to quietly think about what the other person and the situation is reflecting back to them, what is the mirror showing.

•    In any conflict, there are always two stories, or as many stories as the number of participants. The conflict is fuelled by our unwillingness to listen to others’ stories. We feel extremely possessive about our story and our point of view. We get into this battle of egos, ‘I am right.’ The best part is that everyone involved uses these three words, ‘I am right’ with the same conviction. No wonder we stay stuck in our righteousness! In real terms, everyone is right, because each one is looking into their own mirrors. There are no rights and wrongs; there are only perspectives. Everyone is always right about his/her feelings. It is the details which show a different picture. If one of the affected parties takes the lead in validating others’ feelings, the resolution of conflict becomes a possibility. Is it possible for you to let go of your feeling of ‘being right’? Try it. You will feel much better. And the moment you let go of ‘being right’, others (faces in the mirror) will do the same.

•    People often speak about something intangible called ‘my space’. Yes, we all need ‘our space’. Space establishes healthy boundaries. After all we can’t keep looking at the same mirror all the time. Space gives us time to reflect, to contemplate, and to be ourselves.

•    Is it easy for you to come out of ‘your space’ from time to time and serve those you love? Actually who are these people you love? These are those mirror images of yours that you approve of. So by serving them, you are actually serving those aspects of yourself, that you ‘love’, the ones you are comfortable with. One universal law is that whatever we focus upon grows in our lives. So if you focus upon those aspects of yourselves that you ‘love’, they will grow. The best way to achieve this growth is by serving and acknowledging people you love. This service helps you open your minds to new possibilities. In this way you will not only unleash your potential, you will end up being joyful as well!

•    There is a famous adage, ‘forget and forgive’. Well, I do not know about forgetting, but forgiving is an absolute must. Who are you forgiving, by the way? That mirror image of yourself, which you are uncomfortable with? Don’t forget, remember, that here is an aspect of myself, I need to forgive. Some person is bravely showing you a mirror image of yourself that you are denying. Shouldn’t you be grateful to this person? Remember that your purpose in life is to integrate all aspects of yourself. Forgiving is the only way to move forward.

•    Are you holding onto judgments and criticisms? Who are you judging and criticizing? Some mirror image? Aren’t you stuck with the burden of high expectations? Expectations from whom? From yourself, of course. There is no one else. Others are just mirror images! Isn’t it time to be kind to yourself? Please break free of this unhealthy cycle. Let go of the pain of regret. Dump the heavy emotional backpack that you are carrying.

•    If someone asks you to love yourself, who are you supposed to love? Yes, you must love every mirror image of yourself; and that means everything in your experience, including all people in your life. In fact, the only way you can love yourself is by loving your life. So say aloud, “I love my life, and everything, everyone in it.” Does it feel better?

•    What about mistakes? Should we be perfect at all times or are we allowed to make some mistakes? Won’t the world be a boring place if everything in it was perfect? So let go of high expectations. Accept everyone and everything as it is. That is true self-acceptance. Let us acknowledge and tolerate our mistakes, only then can we transcend them or go beyond them!

If you follow these simple steps, you will discover self-love. This self-love will bring with it a sense of freedom, happiness, and healthy self-esteem. This is all you need to heal yourself. If you heal your relationships, you will be healed at all levels; social, economic, physical, psychological, and spiritual.

In this new year, let us all welcome new beginnings!

Chitra Jha is a trainer of a refreshing genre. She conducts tailor-made workshop on Enlightened Living, Enlightened Healing, Enlightened Parenting, Enlightened Eating, Enlightened Death, Past Life Regression and Spiritual Science. She does one-on-one sessions and small group therapy sessions as well. Contact chitrajhaa@gmail.com.

I came back home with a great deal of food for thought. Until now I had not considered the possibility of a ‘special’ relationship between daughters and mothers. I always gave credit to an individual’s ‘heart’ skills more than their ‘gender’, for maintaining good relationships. I considered this ‘son or daughter’ fixation as more of a cultural phenomenon and the effect of our social conditioning. But now I gave some thought to my own role as a daughter, and the complexities of this beautiful relationship between a mother and a daughter.

When a baby girl is born, the mother feels an instant connection with her. As she grows into a toddler and a pre-schooler, her mother is her ‘hero’. As she enters school, some of the mother’s glory gets transferred to her class teacher. Of course, you, as mother, don’t resent that. You know that the bond between a mother and a daughter is indeed very unique, and nothing can ever break it. But once your daughter grows up and becomes her own person, this bond is often tested to its limits.

Yes, it remains the most complex of all relationships. Despite mothers and daughters sharing a special bond, there are some complex emotions that play a role in this sacred bond. These are emotions of resentment, competition (yes, sir, that too!), and of course, love. Mothers and daughters remain friends most of the times but they can be bitter enemies as well. What evokes such strong emotions in this simple relationship?

Most girls are labelled as ‘papa’s girls’ when they are growing up. I do not know why or how this belief got propagated. This label itself sows the seeds of dissent, and competition. Now the mother has to compete for her daughter’s father’s affection; not forgetting that ‘papa’s girl’ has the first claim on it. Why do you think this relationship gets so complicated?

Mothers and daughters definitely spend more time with each other than mothers do with their sons or for that matter, daughters with their fathers. They definitely talk more. They discuss personal topics. This presupposes that they must be close, but the fact remains that too much of interaction, that too of personal nature, breeds contempt. They also risk offending each other all the more.

Let us look at the flash points in a mother-daughter relationship.

Women are generally judged by how they look, and mothers are judged by how their daughters look; so appearance, clothes, weight, and hair-dos become an area of dissent between mothers and daughters.

Mothers always see their daughters as little girls and want to save them from all the bad wolves of this world. Daughters resent this protective behaviour. They consider their mothers as control freaks.

Whenever mothers offer any (motherly) advice, or suggest improvements in wardrobes, hairstyles, or looks, daughters smell a rat and see implied criticism in everything that is said (or left unsaid). Mothers think that they correct their daughters because they care for their daughters; daughters think that mothers just need an excuse to criticize. The resulting tension often spills over for days on end.

If daughters sense disapproval, they won’t hesitate in keeping secrets from their mother. They feel powerful by withholding information. This sows the seeds for further dissent, and the domino’s effect carries on.

Now, what is the magic formula to make a perfect mother-daughter bond? Seeing things from the other party’s point of view always works wonders. Using praise from time to time is another sure winner. Humour, of course, works each and every time, without fail. However, one important tool remains: role play. Teaching a daughter ‘how to mother’ is an important part of growing up. Dolls come handy here, but even younger siblings do as well. Because the mother-daughter relationship is a contextual background for how daughters learn to parent, this tool remains pretty important!
Telling your daughter (and vice versa) that you love her keeps you connected with her. Girls especially love to receive ‘I love you’ notes and cards from their parents. A written note is very special as it can be read again and again.

All mothers want their daughters to grow into loving, respectable, and independent adults and teach them good work ethics and family values. Mothering does not stop when your daughter becomes a young adult; it just changes form. You need to still love and guide your daughter but in an adult way. She needs encouragement and affirming to keep her self-confidence and self-esteem high. Let your daughter know that she is loved and respected.

Loving a daughter doesn’t mean that you have to give in to all her whims. To love her is to bring out the best in her. Your daughter will always remain inside of you, as she shares your genetics, but more important is the fact that you nurtured her heart (and vice versa), and provided the best model of what it is to be a woman in this world.

Only when your relationship with your daughter is friendly can you enjoy the precious treasure of being a mother. Parenting is a tough job. It is a continuous challenge. No parent is perfect and we all make mistakes. Mothers, fathers alike.

I love this quote by actress Bette Davies, ‘If you’ve never been hated by your daughter, you have never been a mother!’

Chitra Jha is a life skills coach and past life regresson therapist.

Sometimes when I try to explain my dream to my family and friends, I get blank stares. My enthusiasm does not find an eager audience. Most of the times, I try and avoid this situation by just keeping quiet about my dreams, but there are times when I can’t contain my excitement. I do understand that everyone operates from their belief system, just as I do. But how come the belief systems are different in the very same family in which we grow up? What exactly determines our belief systems? Is it the cumulative experience and influence of one lifetime or infinite life times?

Since I am a past life regression therapist, I know that our past lives do affect our present belief systems, but for most people this fact is difficult to digest. Most of us believe that our beliefs come primarily from our childhood conditioning. If we are told as children that telepathy does not exist, we will grow up believing it to be our truth. However, it is only a belief and not a fact. Most of what we believe is not based on facts in any case. Now suppose that as a grown-up you come across someone who can demonstrate to you that telepathy does exist. What will you do now? Will you accept this new truth?

Generally even when a fact is offered with proof, skeptic minds would try and block it. They try and skip to another reality zone, just to avoid changing their beliefs. It is a sort of automatic defense mechanism of the ego. Sometimes, when you are trying your best to explain something new to someone, they get a glazed look in their eyes. Their attention drifts off. They stop paying attention to you. This is their mind’s way of blocking out information that does not tally with its belief system. Only an open mind can absorb new information and evaluate it on its own terms.

So, now I have decided to share my dreams only with those people who believe in me. I am not here to change anyone’s belief systems, I am here to have faith in my belief system and evaluate it from time to time. I am here to discard beliefs that do not work for me any more and form experiential beliefs that always work. I do not believe that successful people are just lucky. I know that one becomes successful by believing in one’s dreams.

My motivation comes from setting big goals. Big goals to me mean goals that seem fantastic, out of reach, slightly scary, and not commiserating with the current appearances of reality. Say, for example, I had set a goal of becoming a life skills coach, when I was just a homemaker. It took me two years and various small steps of being a communication skills teacher, verbal ability instructor for management entrance exams, a columnist, a healer, and finally a life skills coach. Wow! It seems like a dream run. Throughout this period I stayed motivated by writing my goal in great detail, letting go of it in care of the universe, and taking small inspired actions when needed.

Such miracles happen in my life all the time. Invariably I am led to the right people, right opportunities and right know-how to achieve my goals. After one goal is achieved, I set another big goal. Right now my big goal is to be conducting my empowering workshops throughout the world. It does seem impossible to some, but to me it is my reality, whether I can see it in my present environment or not.

I stay motivated by my complete faith in the universe and its infallible laws. My motivation also comes from imagining a bigger, brighter, and more colourful life than I currently lead. I put my emotions into this picture and live it in my mind. Eventually I am led to take decisive action. This action is always inspired, and I do it to the best of my ability with gay abundance.

I have written my new life story keeping all areas of my life, viz, career, money, health, friends, family, personal development, recreation, and personal environment in right perspective. I run this story through my mind at least twice a day. Each run builds up a new momentum, and I feel excited about taking actions to reach my goals. I know people who live the kind of life that I live, and I also know people whose lives are full of boredom, discontent, and mediocrity. I feel grateful to the universe because my eyes and mind are open. I have discovered my potential. I have chosen my life of purpose and passion. I feel ecstatic. Life sure is beautiful!

Chitra Jha conducts empowering workshops throughout the world.

If it did, we won’t see so many overweight people around. The fact is that all this works for a short while, but unless you keep up with your personal trainers and their latest whims, you will not see permanent results. Why is it so? Most of us and our medicos blame our genes, our heredity for it. When all other explanations fail, one can always blame one’s genes and resign to a fat present, and a fat future. But isn’t there a way out? In my experience, there is. And it is the safest so far.

I am a past life regression therapist. This therapy is based on the Universal Law of Cause and Effect. This law is also known as the Law of Karma. It is based on the simple theory of ‘As you sow, so shall you reap’. The ‘karmas’ of our past lives determine our present life circumstances. Many of the root causes of our present day problems are hidden in our past lives, including the problem of overweight. What are these root causes? How can we unearth them?

In a PLRT (past life regression therapy) session, a person is helped to experience or relive past life memories, using a process of regression. Regression can be done using hypnotic or non-hypnotic techniques. It is like being in a deep meditative state where your subconscious memories are revealed to you. A person relives those past life memories that are helpful in resolving the present life problems and issues.

Overweight is an issue that I deal with pretty often. Over a period of time I have realized that there are basically a few past memories that are linked with this major modern-day problem. Let me categorize them for ease of understanding.

• Starving in a past life

Incredible as this may sound, many of my clients saw themselves as scrawny, bony, starving individuals in some past lives. These were generally periods of famine, drought, poverty, or imprisonments. All these people could ever think about was food. Even their last thoughts at the time of death were about food. In their life review, most of them were happy to be out of that existence. They were relieved that the ordeal was over. Now in their current births, the subconscious mind is still carrying those memories of lack of food, and of starvation. No wonder, they can’t stop eating now that they have access to food. The bodies have the inner fear of starving once again; however irrational that may seem in their current reality. They are asked to integrate this truth in their altered (most suggestible) state that the past is over, and they need not stuff themselves anymore; there is plenty of food in their present lives. Once they let go of the past, the need to protect themselves against starvation gets released. After that they somehow lose their voracious appetites and also the extra weight. It is amazing how this happens effortlessly.

• Being molested in a past life

Most of the overweight females that I have regressed saw themselves as beautiful women, being raped, chased, or molested because of their beauty. Some of them committed suicide by drowning in wells and rivers. Their last dying thoughts were that their beauty and their svelte figures were their enemies. In their current birth, the subconscious is carrying these past memories. Their body wisdom has convinced them at a subconscious level that since they had suffered in their past because of their beauty, they should remain ugly in this lifetime. This desire to protect themselves makes them accumulate extra body weight. Does it sound like fiction to you? The truth is that many such women, after integrating this truth, have shed many kilos of weight without following any other weight loss regime. Yes, PLRT is a ‘soul therapy’ that works like magic.

• Being frightened and distrusting

Surprisingly, some over-weight people saw themselves as being frightened of authority, or being betrayed by their near and dear ones. Such people felt that they could not trust anyone else to protect them. Hence their need to protect themselves by adding extra fat around them, as armour! In their subconscious wisdom, it was the least harmful way to gain protection. Once these people understood that the past is over and they do not need protection anymore, they shed their extra weight.

All this understanding has led me to believe that overweight is an issue of trust. Trust that we have enough, trust that we deserve to be attractive, trust that we are safe. If these issues can be handled, overweight will become a problem of the past.

Doctors today agree that overeating is triggered by loneliness, boredom, suppressed emotions, lack of self-worth, and a need for protection. Food is an easily available, surrogate option. So what is the solution? PLRT, yes; but besides this, the understanding that the fat is there to serve a purpose! Our body is trying to communicate to us about its inner needs through accumulating weight. We need to connect with it and find out the root cause. This involves speaking your truth, confronting your fears, and openly expressing your emotions. As your body tissues start trusting you, they will start releasing the need to hold on to the fat around them. This may be a gradual process, but the effects are everlasting.

Now every time you start feeling negatively about your fat, and start searching for a way to get rid of it, pause for a moment. Be grateful to your fat for reminding you to get in touch with your inner self. Ask yourself what deeper issues are lurking in your subconscious, and find a way of releasing them. The extra weight will be released automatically.

So connect with the root cause, relive it and release it. Past life regression therapy is there to assist you.

I was living a beautiful, content life of marital bliss, enjoying motherhood and generally just being there. Life was good, I believed in myself, God was not a word in my lexicon; I passed my leisure reading fiction and watching movies. But, and it is a big ‘but’, at times I felt that there was more in me. I was made for bigger things. Slowly this ‘but’ became a kind of obsession and that is when I attracted Linda Goodman’s Star Signs. The year was 1999.

Suddenly everything that I was so sure of seemed like an illusion. I became more introspective, and life just changed…for the better. Reiki came into my life and took charge of me. I was changing for sure, but the world around me was changing as well. To begin with I could not read fiction any more. Books like A. Parthasarthy’s Vedanta Treatise, Richard Bach’s Illusions, Deepak Chopra’s Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents, Ageless Body Timeless Mind, The Path to Love, James Redfield’s The Celestine Prophecy, Dr. Brian Weiss’s Only Love is real, and many other books of this ilk became my constant companions.

By and by I gave up reading the newspaper (something I used to be devoted to), watching television; eating animal products (including dairy), left-overs (again something my fridge used to be proud of), processed, packaged, bottled stuff; allopathic medicine, etc. Now I enjoy locally produced fresh foods (primarily fruits, vegetables, and nuts). All this just happened.

The major change happened in my way of looking at things. I started looking at everything including my body as a gift from God. Hence everything in my experience including family, friends, foods, clothes, weather, environment and what have you became a ‘present’. Now what do you do when you keep receiving presents in each moment? Only one phrase emerges from deep within: ‘Thank you.’ Gratefulness becomes a part of life, and all the complaints, criticisms, judgments just disappear. Yes, this actually happens. Once you experience this eternal gratefulness, you start living in ‘oneness’. Everything becomes an expression of God.

‘God’ the very word I was allergic to, has now become a constant refrain in my conversations. Each moment He experiences His highest expression through me; hence each moment has become a reason for celebration.

I realize that it is not just about me; entire humanity is waking up from a deep slumber, as though by a pre-determined agreement at a mass scale. The change is not happening just with me, but with the ‘collective unconscious’. The ‘time’ is finally here for a major ‘shift’ of the ages; and my waking up is just a small part of the larger plan that is unfolding around us.

Yes, these are special times, and things are coming to a head now. The choice before us is clear. Do we wish to choose unconditional love or fear? Are we with Light or with Darkness? It is for us to exercise our freewill. The responsibility as always lies with us. Please choose wisely, as these times will not come back in a hurry. It will take another great cycle, another age, another yuga for the conditions to be so ‘right’.

Having said that, if I could, in any way, be of any service to anyone, I am always there!

Chitra Jha is a healer, writer, corporate trainer and verbal ability instructor.

Most of us take our role as a parent too seriously. We feel completely responsible for our offspring’s welfare. We consider it our duty to guide them in all aspects of their lives. After all we are the parents; we know what is best for our children. If we will not guide them, who will? All these arguments are well-intentioned and I have no issues with these. But in our desire to do the best for our children, we forget to give them ample doses of love, affection, and understanding. We think that too much love would spoil them. We believe in discipline more than understanding.

In my view, all that we parents ever need to do is to provide generous dollops of love and acceptance to our children. In the absence of a warm and loving atmosphere, no child can ever achieve her full potential. Even discipline does not really work in a hostile environment. In my practice as a life skills coach, I come across individuals with low self-esteem, which stems from their childhood. Unless the home atmosphere is warm, caring, safe, protective, and friendly, a child can not be self-confident. And as you well know, self-esteem is the most critical factor in achieving success in life.

When we like ourselves for what we are, we are more likely to work hard and achieve more. Observe your children. Your encouraging, loving words are their biggest motivators. The moment you put them down, their enthusiasm to do anything vanishes in thin air. If your children are not doing well at school, first look at your home environment. Be objective. Ask yourself; are you the cause of their poor self-esteem? Most of the times, we unfavourably compare our children to their friends. What do you think it does to their self-image? We think that by shaming them, we are motivating them to excel. We couldn’t be more wrong. Apply this rule to yourself. Do you strive to work harder if someone ridicules you? No. You would build up frustration, and anger towards that person. That is exactly what is happening in your home. Pay attention to it and take corrective measures.

My favorite line is a cry from a child, “Mum, love me the most, when I deserve it the least.” This line haunts me. Yes, when we think that our child does not deserve any love because he has been naughty, disobedient, destructive, or a failure; that is when she needs our love the most. Our job at these times is to trust our children and help them discover the talents, abilities, resources, and the personal best that is hidden behind their rough and unappealing exteriors.

We feel let down and disappointed by our children, if they do not tow our line. We label them as ‘difficult’ children. Have you ever wondered if the children feel the same way about us as well? Have we ever given unconditional love to our children? Why do we always have to be judgmental at every step? Our parenting years (and our children’s ears!) are full of ‘good boy’, ‘bad boy’, ‘good girl’, and ‘bad girl’ at each step and after each action. From praise to disgrace, such adjectives confuse children. Their self-worth fluctuates from minute to minute.

Our attention is more focused on the socks left on the floor, unmade beds, badly done homework, bad influence of friends, poor grades, and complaints from the teachers. We do not focus on their good qualities, assets, and strengths, especially when these do not meet with our pre-conceived notions of what is good and what is bad. If we are constantly reminded of our shortcomings, we start believing in them. Our children do the same. By telling them about their strengths, we help them believe in themselves. Their worth increases in their own eyes. They feel capable of making a difference in the world. This empowered attitude leads them to success in whatever field they choose.

So let us get out of our cocooned worlds of expectations and reasoning. Let us pay more attention to playing with our children and understanding them. The time spent together with them is something that we should treasure more than anything else. I believe that our children are our ‘gurus’. There is a lot that we can learn from them. Just observing them is an education by itself.

Are we ready for this new challenge?!?

The first step towards meeting this challenge is spending quality time with your children. Children love to do things with their parents. They feel most loved when their parents make time for them. Otherwise they feel disconnected and empty from inside. So play with your children, do activities like cooking and running errands together. Talk to them about ‘their’ day and ‘your’ day, and see them blossom.

Children also feel loved when you do things ‘for’ them. Make a special breakfast for your son, or help your daughter study for a test; teach your child how to ride her bike. But remember that there is a fine line between doing too much for your children, and doing things as an expression of love. Let them do for themselves what they are capable of doing. Just be flexible with help. Don’t make them entirely dependent upon you.

Some children love to hear words of praise or other affirming statements such as ‘I love you’. Sometimes the words you use can make or break your child’s spirit. Your kind and encouraging words can lift your child up, while harsh words spoken in anger can wound a child. Try sticking sweet notes in your child’s Tiffin box, highlight her/his talents and achievements, and create a special nickname for your little one. These gestures will boost the confidence of your child.

Some children are particularly cuddly. They like to be hugged, while some others do not wish to be held. Such children need physical contact to feel loved. Some parents find it extremely difficult to be physically affectionate with their children because they themselves were never loved that way by their parents. If your child keeps hanging on to you or constantly touches you, it is a sign that she needs to be hugged, kissed, and patted on the back. Even tousling their hair, or wrestling with them will satisfy them.

What is the role of gifts in bringing up your children? Most children appreciate receiving gifts. Their faces light up, they talk animatedly and cherish their gift for a long time. A gift need not be expensive to be special. But do not give gifts to substitute for your time, hugs, affirming words, and things done for your child. Then it becomes a bribe; let us not bribe our kids. A child whose emotional love tank is full will be more responsive, co-operative, and happier than the one whose tank is always devoid of love.

So, pay attention to your children. Listen to their requests. Pay attention to their complaints. Be patient with them, and understand what they might need from you. After all,  love is the foundation of every child’s happiness and sense of security.

Let us re-visit Kahlil Gibran’s famous poem in The Prophet.

Your children are not your children.
They are sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams!
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of infinite,
And He bends you with His might.
That His arrows may go swift and far!
Let your bending in the Archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
So He loves also the bow that is stable.

Chitra Jha is a healer, writer, corporate trainer and verbal ability instructor.

Look up any dictionary. You will find several definitions of failure there. These are:

• A failing to do or perform
• A state of inability to perform a normal action adequately
• A fracturing or giving way under stress
• A lack of success

Please examine all these definitions carefully. What do you find common in all these definitions? These clearly state that when it comes to achieving a goal, failure is nothing but a perception.

If you believe that you have failed, then you have. If you believe that you can’t succeed, you can’t. If you believe that you can’t possibly handle the pressure of achieving your goals, you can’t. If you believe that you are not successful, you aren’t. Failure has no existence beyond your mind. The moment you decide to stop working towards your goals, failure is born.

What would happen if you do not believe in any of that? What would happen if you carry on working towards your goals? What if you take one step at a time for as long as it takes? What happens to failure then? It no longer exists, does it? So there you are. Now do you agree with me?

If you have been working diligently, but not yet seeing any results; keep this simple statement in mind: ‘Failure has no existence”. Just keep going and you can never fail; because there is no such thing as failure for you.

Never count yourself out. Many a times, people give up without ever realizing it. Don’t stop when the going gets tough. Don’t let your motivation dwindle. Make a commitment to yourself, to make your goals happen. Never ever quit. Do not ever contemplate failure. Do not lose your inner determination.
Thomas Alva Edison’s words ring so true to this day, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” And he should know what he was talking about!
Let me share Edison’s life history with you. He had only three months of formal schooling, and he was partially deaf.  He ‘failed’ approximately ten thousand times while working on the light bulb. At the age of 67, his factory caught fire. While watching the smoke Edison remarked, “God has erased all my mistakes”. Three weeks later he invented phonograph. In fact, he was the greatest inventor of all times. He knew that failure has no existence. Follow Edison’s example and get going.

Set a general timeline for achieving your goals but do not get hooked on to a specific timeframe. Some circumstances always remain beyond your control; hence you can’t always be sure ‘when’ your goal will be achieved. If you get attached to a particular timeframe, you are setting yourself up for failure. It is better to get a general idea about by when you would like to see your goal accomplished. Take it one day at a time. Focus on making progress everyday. You will eventually reach the finish line. Don’t think of taking shortcuts; they don’t work.

Don’t ever view obstacles and setbacks as failures, because they are not. In fact, they have nothing in common with failure. The two are as different as chalk is from cheese. Whenever you face an obstacle, setback, or delay, it can mean only one thing; the time has not yet come for your goal to be completed. That is all! It does not mean that you have failed. It does not mean that you are weak. It does not also mean that you will never achieve your goals. It just means that you are not through as yet. You have got to keep moving ahead, finding a way around an obstacle.

Doing an honest, personal SWOT analysis helps in maintaining the morale during tough times; especially if you link it to a strong and powerful goal! It is easy to conduct your own SWOT analysis. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into four quadrants. Label each area as S, W, O, T. Look at each area and write down the answers to following questions:

Strengths:

• What skills and capabilities do you possess?
• Which areas do you excel in?
• What qualifications, accreditations, or experience make you unique?
• What do other people consider as your strengths?
• Which personal qualities, values and beliefs help you stand out amongst others?

Weaknesses:

• What are the gaps in your capabilities?
• What skills do you need to develop?
• Which areas of your life can you improve upon?
• What do other people see as your weaknesses?
• Which personal difficulties do you need to work through to reach your goals?
• What opportunities are currently available to you?
• What external circumstances can help you achieve your goals?
• Which people could offer you support in achieving your goals?

Threats:

• What obstacles are you currently facing?
• What external circumstances can hinder your growth?
• Which people could get into the way of your achieving your goals?

Such an analysis will clearly help you to understand that you possibly cannot fail, unless you decide to fail. This analysis will help you highlight the aspects of your growth story that you may not have ever considered. This will provide you with a different perspective on your personality.

So, go ahead, review your strengths, and consider ways to address your weaknesses. Develop your skills and capabilities. Review your opportunities and use them to your advantage. Think of ways to minimize or eliminate your threats. Such actions are a one way ticket to success. Failure has no role to play here, as it just does not exist. All that exists and always did are opportunities and challenges!

Let go of your false beliefs and expect success!

Adolescence: The lush season between the spring and the summer!

Parenting is the most exhilarating, satisfying and challenging job, especially when we have to parent adolescent children.

Adolescence appears at a time when the urge of life reaches its highest peak. An adolescent’s life is, or ought to be, full of opportunities to enter into new life experiences, explore new relationships, and to feel the new resources of inner strength and ability. Adolescence is also a time when youthful dreams of love and power have not yet been disturbed by the realities of life. In many ways adolescents live in a lush season between the spring and the summer of life.

Adolescence is viewed as a period of transition between childhood and adulthood. As parents our challenge is to make sure that our children make this transition with ease. The problem with us parents is that we are all amateur parents. There are no professional parents because parenting is not taught in colleges or universities. We learn parenting by instinct, and develop our individual parenting styles. However, the basic ingredients of good parenting remain universal. These are love, time, and understanding. Give these in ample doses and you can never go wrong.

Adolescents challenge our nascent parenting skills by being rebellious and non- conformists. They display a ‘couldn’t care less’ attitude. We feel that our ‘sane, well meaning’ advice is falling on deaf ears. They laugh at our concerns and make fun of our ‘old, ancient’ values. To top it all, we need to handle the societal pressure as well. If our adolescent does not do well in board exams or does not clear any competitive exams, or we can’t proudly announce his or her admission in some prestigious professional college, we feel inadequate as parents. We take it as our personal failure, but to our chagrin our adolescents seem least bothered about all this.

Please do not get fooled by their outward behaviour. Inside them, they are as bothered about their future as we are, perhaps more so; after all it is their life. They have their hidden fears and anxieties, which they express in anger or by clamming up. They feel misunderstood by the very people who claim to love them the most: their parents.

The truth remains that adolescents deal with their own demons in their own way. To be accepted by their peers means a lot to them. They need to belong in their peer group. If they harbour a poor body image, or any other perceived inadequacy; it can play havoc with their mental peace. They encounter enough pressure in their own little worlds. All they need from us is complete acceptance. Accept them for what they are.

The Middle Path

There are three basic parenting styles that most of us follow:

Autocratic parents believe that they know what is best for their children. They tend to suppress their adolescents’ feelings and expression. Their children are less likely to be self-reliant.

Permissive parents can never say no to their children. They fail to provide the kind of discipline and support adolescents need. They allow their children to drift without offering them dependable models of responsible adult behaviour.

The third kind of parents follow the ‘middle’ path. They value both autonomy and discipline. They are more likely to foster the development of confidence, responsibility, and independence in their children.

Let us see how we, as parents of adolescent children can help our wards. But before we sit on our high horse, we must always remember that our children do what we do and not what we say:

•    Help them achieve general emotional maturity so that they learn to face and solve conflicts. The destructive expression of emotions must be channelled into constructive expressions.
•    Help them achieve general social maturity so that they develop social tolerance and freedom from slavish imitation of their peers.
•    Grant them freedom from home control so that they learn self-control and rely upon themselves for security. Our attitude towards them should be friendly.
•    Help them develop intellectual maturity so that they don’t accept anything blindly on the basis of authority. They should learn to desire for explanation of facts.
•    Help them develop a hobby so that they become multifaceted and creative.
•    Help them select an occupation after a careful self-assessment of their capabilities, interests, and aptitude. They should follow their heart and do the ‘labour of love’ instead of mindlessly following the herd. Don’t force your will upon them.
•    Help them in identification of self so that they understand their true selves; and their purpose of life.

The most important thing we parents need to understand is that we should be good role models for them; and as we all know too well, it is easier said than done. Confucius spoke for our youngsters when he said, “Tell me and I will forget. Show me and I will remember. Involve me and I will understand.”

I believe that if we love our role as parents and enjoy each stage of our children’s growth and development, these adolescent years will be a pleasure for both us and our wards.

Chitra Jha is a life skills coach and past life regression therapist.

What is God?
Chitra: God is ALL THAT IS. There is nothing but God. That means everything and everyone we see around us is ‘God’.

God or the Big Bang (or both)?
Chitra: God is a process – a verb and not a noun. So is the Big Bang. The Big Bang is an aspect of God.

God or Darwin (or both)?
Chitra: Both again. There is no exclusion. Darwin’s theory tells half the story, only God completes that story.

God or Darfur ? (How can Darfur happen if there is God?)
Chitra: There is no dichotomy here. God has nothing to do with what we ‘choose’, since we are co-creators of life. We choose our life dramas before we are born for our individual and collective growth. Darfur is a large human tragedy that has the potential to shake us all out of our complacency. So it is a collective karma being played out. We all ‘designed’ it, including you and me, who are so far from Darfur. The tragedy has already shaken up our collective conscious. It will bring in a wave of love and compassion. It will teach us about responsibility. All this learning is in the pipeline.

Who is God’s God?
Chitra: There is no hierarchy there. We are all gods.

Will the real God please stand up? (Why do we have so many religions?)
Chitra: We have so many religions because of our ignorance, greed, fear, and love for power. There is only one God and this God is all inclusive.

Is this just a big lab and are we just guinea pigs and God just a researcher?
Chitra: This is a playground. We are here to play in God’s Leela. We are part of this Leela.

Unexplained phenomena = God?
Chitra: If we can’t explain God, we can explain nothing else. No wonder we are still running around in circles. It is essential to ‘know’ God, only then can we ‘know’ ourselves.

This much awaited spring is a time of fulfillment. There is something sacred about this energy. Heavens are poised to inject their magnificence into our land. New sprouting leaves and grasses (which are yet to raise their heads) upraise every local heart. This magic touch of nature is literally poised to sweep out any dross and odd bits of morose energy from every heart. The vitality of spring has that power. It is indeed a time of great uplift! We are now emerging from a winter cycle of suspension of growth into evolution! Yes, we are almost there! It is time for movement, change, growth, and newness.

The energy of spring influences people in a very profound way. Though Ladakhis are always a very friendly people, I see that their smiles have broadened. Long dark winters, with short days, and hardly any sunlight do take their toll on people. As they say, sun not only gives us heat and light, it also affects our moods. But all that is past now.  Just as a seed pushes aside the dirt and stones to come into light, it is time for us to pick ourselves up, dust off all the lethargy and celebrate our growth. The beginning of spring is a great time for renewal of energies. It is time to clear away heavy energies built around us and become light at heart. The sun is definitely brighter and stronger now, urging us to shine in all our magnificence!!

We can use spring as a beautiful metaphor for human life. When life seems at its worst, with no visible hope, spring tells us to know beyond any doubt that just beneath the surface of our dark reality lies an abundance of vibrant shoots, just biding their time and raring to push their way up: to sprout, flourish, and blossom; provided we let them do so.

Unfortunately many amongst us block our growth through negative feelings and emotions. Toxic ingredients like fear, worry, and stress don’t let spring come into our lives. If only we can cultivate faith, optimism and joy; we will grow in all our glory. It is time to think about that!

As I go out for my walks, I observe profound changes. Life in all its Divine abundance and diversity is awakening from the slumber of winter. It reminds me of my own awakening from deep sleep. As the earth is getting charged by the energy of the sun, I feel a new energy sending a tingle down my spine. As nature readies itself to pursue a new cycle, I gain understanding of eternal cycle of life. Spring embodies new beginnings and new hope. For me it is a ‘new’ expression of Divine love which was present during the long, cold, dark and dreary nights of winter as well. Life existed even then, but it existed as a potential. The way it exists in all of us; a potential waiting to be realized. In some of us it is not apparent but it is there all the same. Nature is never partial to just some of its components. It gives us equal opportunity for greater aspirations and inner movements. The sun shines forth on all new beginnings!!

I feel so fortunate to be soaking in nature unspoilt by human hands. I feel my consciousness merging with the glorious energies around me, and I realize that spring is a part of me. The light is shining ever brighter inside me. When I sit down to meditate on the river bank (right outside my house), I get the feeling that spring is not just an outer event. It’s ‘we’ (yes, that includes all of us, including you), who are about to happen. It is ‘we’ we are waiting for. We are on the very cusp of discovering ourselves. We are too modest to admit it. For far too long we have covered our magnificence under a blanket of snow (so to speak). We are too used to looking outside of us in awe and wonderment. The spring is asking us to look at our own worthy selves. We are pregnant with promise. We are full of vitality. We wear auras of many colours, and we have the power which is one with ALL THAT IS, including the spring!

Yes, there’s spring in the air and hope in the heart! What more could one ask for?????

What should you do to overcome this emotional turmoil of rejection? How should you handle rejection? First of all it helps to know that even some of the most successful and famous people in the world have faced the same dilemma that you are facing today. J.K.Rowling, the famous author of the record breaking ‘Harry Potter’ books, used to live on welfare before she hit it big with her ‘now phenomenal’ book. Albert Einstein flunked the entrance exams to the Swiss Polytechnic Institute. Abraham Lincoln’s failures and rejections are legendary. Thomas Edison was shown the door of his school at a very early age. Even someone as successful as Amitabh Bachchan was rejected many times before he signed up for Saat Hindustani.

Does it help to know that you are not alone? So many people face rejection, but so few make it work for them. Where are you placed? Most people make the mistake of making rejection affect them negatively. Don’t let it happen to you. Yes, one can’t deny that it does feel terrible to be rejected. Your self- image does take a beating. You do feel lousy. But don’t let this feeling last longer than a couple of hours. Look at this rejection as an opportunity that can change your life for better.

The first thing to do is to ask for an explanation. If you have been turned down for a job, or a promotion, calmly and coolly ask your rejecter for the reasons. Sometimes the reasons have nothing to do with you. The decision may have been based on something to do with the company, such as budget constraints. Even if the reason has something to do with you, knowing that reason helps you improve yourself for future.

Always remember not to take rejection personally. Your job is just one facet of your life. There are other important people in your life who dote on you, respect you, and love you. Whatever someone in the workplace says or does that causes you pain is not often personal. That person does not necessarily have something against you. He may be working in the interest of the organization. Your talents may not be suitable for a higher position. After all every one reaches his level of incompetence some day! Your day may have come sooner than others. Accept your limitations in this one area of your life gracefully.

Let go of the need to change what has already happened. If you envy the person who got the promotion, or got the job, or got the raise; you are only making the matters worse for you. Let go of the need to change others. Allow yourself to let go of the feeling of being rejected. Take the decision in your stride. Don’t try to reject the people who rejected you in the first place. It does not help. Relax and forget about what others think. The important thing to know is what ‘you’ think of yourself. If you treat yourself with respect and dignity, the others would do the same.

Take control. Don’t feel like a victim. Don’t let the rejection get you down. Don’t lose interest in your work. Let go of your hurt feelings by re-enforcing the confidence in your strengths. Remember that only you have the power to determine how you feel. Use that power NOW.

Others can ‘reject’ us only when we reject ourselves. Let us not give that power to others. Self-esteem can neutralize any fear of real or perceived rejection. When we love, accept and honor ourselves, we re-gain our power. Louise Hay, the author of bestseller ‘You can heal your life’, asks everyone to look into their eyes in the mirror and repeat, ‘I love and accept myself exactly the way I am.’ I have worked with this magic sentence. It raises one’s self esteem by leaps and bounds. After that the fear of rejection becomes a thing of the past. After all ‘others’ are just mirror images of ‘us’.

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Chitra Jha is a trainer of a refreshing genre. She conducts tailor-made workshop on Enlightened Living, Enlightened Healing, Enlightened Parenting, Enlightened Eating, Enlightened Death, Past Life Regression and Spiritual Science. She does one-on-one sessions and small group therapy sessions as well. Contact chitrajhaa@gmail.com.

Let us revisit some of the more compelling reasons  and freshen our perspective. Let me clarify here that vegetarian food means food from the plant kingdom. All dairy products are as much animal food as meat and eggs are. Even though in our culture we have always considered milk and milk products as vegetarian, we cannot deny the fact that these come from animals and are technically animal products.

Some of the arguments for eating food from the plant sources are categorized here.

Environmental issues

•    Vegetarianism helps conserve fossil fuel in a major way. Studies have shown that it takes 35 calories of fossil fuel to produce 1 calorie of mutton; 22 calories of fossil fuel for 1 calorie of poultry; but just 1 calorie of fossil fuel for 1 calorie of vegetables. By eating plant food we can help conserve our non-renewable sources of energy.
•    It has been observed that it takes about 3 to 15 times as much water to produce animal food, as it does to produce plant food. Thus by becoming vegetarian we can conserve our water resources.
•    It is seen that it takes about 5-10 kilogram of plant matter and grains to produce one kilogram of animal protein. By eating this vegetarian food directly (and not through the animals) we can save a lot of this food material to feed all the hungry people in this world.
•    Plant foods have a longer shelf life than animal foods. One needs to spend more energy in preserving animal food products, thus exacerbating the energy crisis.

Health issues

•    The plant food takes care of all the nutrient needs. If we eat enough fruits and vegetables we will not suffer from any nutrient deficiency. On the other hand animal foods are largely deficient in vitamins, except for vitamin B complex.
•    Everyone knows that the animal foods are higher in fat and cholesterol than the plant foods. Animal foods are also high in protein content. This causes excess nitrogen in the blood; leading to many health problems. By eating vegetarian food, we can say goodbye to many bothersome diseases, such as heart diseases, osteoporosis, kidney stones, gall stones, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, arthritis, gum disease, obesity and acne.
•    Animal food is totally deficient in carbohydrates, which are essential for good health.
•    Animal foods contain far higher concentrations of agricultural chemicals than plant foods.
•    Most of the animals are given drugs such as steroids, antibiotics, and growth hormones. These drugs are consumed by us humans when we consume meat.
•    There are many bacteria and viruses that thrive on animal foods, when we eat these foods we end up eating these organisms as well. It is not as if the plant foods do not have any micro-organisms, but their number is nowhere near as much as in meat products.
•    Animal products take rather long to digest. They keep putrefying in the colon, creating intestinal toxemia. It is a well known fact that the condition of the intestinal flora is critical to overall health of the body. Vegetarian food travels quickly through the gastro-intestinal tract.
•    Plant foods are high in fibre content. Fibre absorbs unwanted, excess fats; cleans the intestines; provides bulk and helps in peristaltic movement; ensuring regular bowel movements. Meat, poultry, and dairy products are deficient in fibre content.
•    Animal foods contain the body wastes of the animals such as adrenaline, uric acid, and lactic acid.
•    When we consume plant foods we consume a chlorophyll module which is very similar to our hemoglobin.
•    Plant foods contain trace elements that not only nurture our cells, but are precursors of all our genetic material.
•    Animal food is primarily acidic in nature. It leaves behind an acidic residue after digestion. This acid upsets the delicate pH balance of our body. A chronically over-acidic pH ratio begins to corrode body tissues, produces neuro-toxins, interrupts all cellular functions and generally creates havoc with our health. However, some of the plant foods are also acidic in nature, and should be avoided e.g. alcohol, coffee, white bread, oatmeal, sugar, tobacco, chillies, and all packaged and processed foods.
•    Raw plant foods such as fruits detoxify our bodies, increase immunity, and improve our skin and hair.

Economic issues

•    Vegetarian foods cost much less than non-vegetarian foods. So being vegetarian makes a lot of economic sense.
•    When we eat vegetarian foods, we stay healthier; thus saving on health care expenses.

Ethical issues

•    If we love animals, we have no desire to kill them for food.
•    Our body has been designed in a way to make us natural herbivores. Our hands, teeth, feet, intestinal tract…all are different from those of carnivorous species.
•    Mahatma Gandhi promoted the spirit of non-violence, but this spirit can’t be fostered if we indulge in killing animals.
•    There can be no peace in the world, if we declare war on other species for food.
•    There are many substitutes available in the vegetable kingdom to satisfy all taste buds.

Spiritual issues

•    Plant foods carry an inner light; both philosophically and biologically, as natural sunlight is a vital ingredient of plant foods. This light nourishes our physical body, mind, and spirit.
•    Plant foods keep us healthy. These healthy cells have a harmonic frequency that raises our overall energy vibration.
•    Plant food is rich in natural energy, vital for self-transformation.
•    Ellen G. White the famous writer of early twentieth century said, “Whatever affects the body has a corresponding effect on the mind and soul.” In other words, what we eat affects our consciousness.

These are some of the factors that are making vegetarianism a fashion and health statement. I do not expect you to change your food habits based on what I have enumerated. However, if you keep an open mind and verify these truths in your own life, I am certain that you will feel inclined to turn vegetarian! Three cheers to that!!!

Why do people smoke? Why do they continue smoking even though they know that this habit of theirs is slowly but surely eroding their health? According to a study more than 70% of tobacco users want to quit, but can’t. Why do they find it difficult to overcome this habit? As I understand it, there are two primary reasons for it.

First of all, it is a stubborn habit. Most people naturally connect this habit with many everyday activities (visiting the loo), times of the day (first thing in the morning; after meals), social interactions (smoking with friends; smoking while drinking), and emotional states (sad, stressed; happy, celebratory) etc. These situations continually trigger the urge to smoke. Since these triggers often work at the subconscious level, this habit becomes difficult to get rid of. It acts like a reliable, old friend you can turn to for relaxation, comfort and focus.

Secondly, it acts as an addiction. The body and the mind get used to the ‘adrenaline rush’ from regular nicotine fix. The very thought of quitting triggers strong and uncomfortable physical and psychological reactions, pressurizing the person into resuming smoking. Sometimes this discomfort of quitting may last for several weeks or months.

What are these withdrawal symptoms? People who have tried quitting are well aware of them. Typical withdrawal symptoms are irritability, restlessness, sadness, nervousness, coughing, sore throat, constipation, insomnia, fatigue, weight gain, difficulty in concentrating, decreased heart rate, and an increased appetite. No wonder most people have a hard time kicking up this habit!

In such a difficult scenario, what can a cigarette smoker do to drop this habit right away? The first thing a smoker should do is to get a physical examination done. They must learn the extent to which their health has been affected by smoking. This action puts the subsequent actions in perspective. Recommendations should be sought for reversal of the damage already done. This step is absolutely essential.

Then the smoker should seek support from family members and friends for emotional encouragement and listening ears. He will need all the support he can muster during this change process. He should not socialize with people who smoke (at least during the initial stage), as it is always hard to resist when someone lights up in front of you.

The third important action is to get a healthier lifestyle. The process of quitting can produce a temporary drop in energy levels. It can reduce concentration power and increased mood swings. To overcome these difficulties, one should improve one’s diet, exercise, and sleep patterns. One needs to take better care of oneself in order to replace the ‘nicotine highs’ with ‘natural highs’. All this requires a lot of self-control. However, there are no highs that nicotine can give but brain cannot generate through healthier means. You just need to discover these means. You need to plan in advance, be more creative and committed to the process.

In the absence of such a preparation, people often give up their attempt to quit smoking. How can these people stay motivated? Most people know that they want to quit smoking, but they do not know why? Most often the answer is that their mother/wife/girlfriend/doctor want them to quit. These external pressures can never be motivating enough. You need to genuinely want to quit, and know the reasons for quitting. If you are trying to quit smoking, you better have a list of reasons. This list can act as a kind of map you can turn to when going gets tough.

What are the common reasons for quitting?

• People want to add more years to their lives.
• They want to decrease their heath risks.
• They want to save the money they spend on cigarettes.
• They want to prove to themselves that they can meet the challenge of quitting smoking.
• They wish to improve their lifestyle.
• They wish to experience more natural energy.
• They want to be good role models for their children and grand children.
• They do not want to pollute the environment.

Take a look at these reasons and determine ‘your’ reasons for quitting. Whatever your reasons are, just write them down and keep this list handy. Read this list of reasons whenever you get the urge to smoke. This way you will lay a psychological groundwork to make quitting easier.

Clinical hypnosis works wonders in helping you keep your goal and the reasons for that goal continuously in your mind, 24×7. Since habits and addictions tend to be very psychological in nature, this is the most holistic approach to quitting. It can help you change and improve the way you think about yourself and your ‘problem’. However, it is your ‘desire to quit’, which is critical for taking an action.

Most smokers look for explanations and excuses for not quitting. Remember that you must hold yourself accountable for all that you do. Excuses are a dime a dozen and they don’t mean a thing. When all is said and done it is your choice whether to quit or not to quit. You can choose your convenience over a commitment or vice-versa. The fact remains that when you do not fulfill a promise, you let yourself down and regardless of your excuses you do not carry a high opinion of yourself. Don’t ever fall in this avoidable trap.

Are you wondering what made my son quit smoking? Well, the panacea for all ills: Meditation! I too had a small role to play in it. I had given him a book, ‘Autobiography of a Yogi’ by Paramhansa Yogananda. This book has had such a profound influence on his young mind that he has started meditating regularly. It is this new found passion, spirituality, which did the trick.

Since the proof of the pudding is in its eating, may I cajole all those smokers, who are planning to quit smoking, to try this tried and tested formula. Start meditating; do it right now. You will not only get rid of your addictions, but also reap many other health benefits.

We marvel at the Hema Malinis, Madonnas and Rekhas of the world, but no one divulges their secrets to us.

Let me let you on to a ‘not so well kept’, yet ‘not so much practiced’ secret! Get ready to be enlightened! The truth is that the human body has been designed for self-renewal. Our cells are being continuously repaired and replaced automatically. Let us acknowledge and be grateful for the magnificence of this marvel, called human body. Let us start appreciating and blessing it, instead of abusing and misusing it.

Our body is the temple of our soul. It is worthy of our respect. But what do we do about it? We continually find faults with it. We are never satisfied with our bodies. Even the so-called beautiful people go in for a little nip here and a little tuck there in their eternal search for a perfect face and a perfect body. We forget that we all are perfect as we are. We are perfection personified. Look around you. Look at nature. Isn’t everything just perfect? Does a baboon think that it is ugly? Does the lotus flower look down upon other less magnificent flowers?

Speaking of flowers, I was so visibly shaken out of my complacence when my husband photographed some insignificant tiny wild flowers (that I always completely ignored, as they were non-existent in my list of pretty flowers), with his high-powered fancy camera. The enlarged pictures were amazingly beautiful. The designs were intricate and the colours eclectic. In a moment, I was transformed. How could I ever imagine that the hand of nature would ignore these tiny wild things the way I (and many others like me) do so often? Mother Nature had spent some quality time with these tiny tots. How is it possible then that the same Mother Nature has not done exactly the same (or something even better!) with her most advantaged offspring- the human being?

It is high time that we acknowledge our magnificence and be thankful for it. The best part of this entire learning is that the moment we make this paradigm shift, our cells start rejoicing in their work that they carry on in any case, under all circumstances. Now they do this work with more vigour and enthusiasm. Don’t you work enthusiastically when your efforts are acknowledged and praised? The same rule applies to our tireless, toiling cells.

Try this out. Start your day by admiring your body. Look into the mirror and admire your beauty. Say aloud, “I am beautiful.” Why is it so difficult to mouth this phrase? We have been noticing our broad noses, narrow foreheads, thin lips, sagging skin with such derision everyday that we stop well short of calling ourselves beautiful. It seems like a lie, but believe me nothing could be truer than this. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. The Lord created you in His/Her own image. So if S/He is beautiful, so are you! Try believing in this TRUTH. Try living it. And then, get ready for the magic, because the magic is bound to happen. It is infallible, a given. It works every time. There are no ifs and buts; just a lifetime guarantee. You don’t need to visit any beauty parlours. You don’t need to splurge on beauty potions. You don’t need to go under the surgeon’s scalpel. You don’t need to go anywhere, because being beautiful is your birthright. It is factored in your DNA. Believe that you are beautiful; as you well know that nature can create nothing but perfection.

The same truism applies to ageing. You are ever renewing. You are always new. Just believe in your immortal Self. We age because we think that we must be ageing. We are programmed from a very early age that we all grow ‘old’. We are told (and we accept it, as we ‘see’ the evidence all around us) that as we grow ‘old’ our hair turns grey, our teeth fall out, we become senile, illnesses haunt us, etc.

The only difference between ‘aged’ and ‘eternally young’ is that the latter always know that they are part of a larger reality, and look forward to living their lives to the fullest, while the former believe that they are under the ‘control’ of external forces and dwell upon their ‘lost youth’ while waiting for ‘age’ to take its toll. In both cases their ‘expectations’ are impressed upon the subconscious mind, and faithfully delivered without exception.

Which category do you belong to? Would you like to change your ‘look’? The remedy is very simple; just change your ‘outlook’.

It all started with the Wall Street collapse. The falling down of the giants like a ‘house of cards’ put the scare in people. Then the Jet lay-offs triggered some more panic. The talk of recession and economic downfall is commonplace now. In times like this it is difficult to focus on prosperity and abundance; but people like us who believe in the Law of Attraction know better. We are aware that what you focus on grows. There are many phrases to understand this, such as ‘like attracts like’ or ‘birds of a feather flock together’.

Now if we actually understand this, then we also understand what to focus upon. Should our focus be on the current ‘breaking news’, the doom and gloom stories that the 24×7 news channels love to broadcast? Should we focus upon the impending recession or the recent bailouts?

If we take a look at the history of civilization, we realize that the world has gone through good economic times and bad economic times time and again. At any time, whether in a booming economy, or during the days of great depression, there have been both rich people and people below poverty line. During both bear and bull markets there are people who make money and people who lose money. Business empires have been created and lost in any phase of economy. Why does this happen? What is the deciding factor?

At any time in the history of the world, prosperity has always depended upon an individual’s mindset. Look at your attitude, your outlook, your approach to life, your way of thinking, and your state of mind? Observe your thoughts and your words. What is your mindset at this moment? Do you watch the news and read the newspaper with great apprehension? Do you invest your time and energy in discussing all the downturns of the economy? Pay attention to your conversations with your family, friends and colleagues at work? Does your talk centre upon how bad things are and how bad they are going to be? Are you afraid of losing your job, and your savings? Are you investing in fear? Do you remember that what you focus on grows?

The choice lies with you. If you focus upon fear, lack, and impending doom, you will start seeing it all around you. Your fears will manifest in every situation of your life. In fact the more you focus upon it, the more you will notice it. Eventually this will lead to depression. You will end up suffering not only financially but physically, mentally, and emotionally as well. Is it worth it? Does it seem like the right way to live life? Think about it.

So what is the solution? What can you do to avoid being caught in this trap? Let us handle first things first. Please switch that television set off. Stop watching and reading about all the predicted doom and gloom. You think I have gone crazy. I am advising you to bury your head in the sand, while you need to be more informed now than ever before. Sure, you need to be informed. So get the information; but being informed and ‘involved’ in the gloom are two different things. Think about it with a cool mind. What is media trying to do? Get more business for itself, of course! Any one can see through their game? Why don’t you?

Media is making money from the fear that you are investing in. Yes, they are the ones reaping dividends on your investment. The more people watch TV or read newspaper, the more advertisements they get. Their ratings go up. They do not have your best interest at heart. And why should they think about you, when you yourself are not thinking about your welfare? You are happily (not so happily actually) falling into their trap.

Now after switching off your television set, start focusing on all that you have. Do you have a family? Are there people who love you and care about you? Do you have a home? Do you have work to go to? What about your talents and your passions? How about your breath; you are breathing, aren’t you? So, now is the time to focus upon all that you do have in your life at this moment. Focus upon these in an attitude of gratitude. Be thankful for everything.

Even if you are in a very bad situation, you can still change your perspective about it and find something to be grateful about. Have you heard the story of Viktor Frankl, a holocaust survivor? Even in the Nazi concentration camps, he refused to focus on his despairing situation. He saw a flower growing in the mud and he kept his focus on the flower, not the mud. This change of perspective helped him survive the worst human nightmare. What is your challenge in comparison to his?

I hear people talking about hoarding money and goods. But that is the worst possible thing to do. Hoarding clogs up the flow. It stops the ‘current’ of the currency, thus stopping the flow of energy. Instead, be frugal in your spending, save some money and make wise investments. This advice is a good practice under all economic circumstances.

Finally, your attitude is all that makes a difference in your life. Ask yourself, are you focusing on the flower or on the mud? Keep an open and positive mindset, and do not invest in fear.

Josh Billings said, “Don’t mistake pleasures for happiness. They are a different breed of dog.” I completely agree with him. So, let’s first get clear what we mean by ‘happiness’ that we are talking about. Happiness involves making loving choices, one day, one moment at a time and our entire life gets filled with sheer joy.

Of course, happiness means different things to different people and yet we are all looking for it all the time. In fact, our entire search, our work, our family life, all that we do are geared towards finding real happiness. We invent things, entertainments, and foods, all in search of happiness.

We look for it outside of us and that is the mistake we make. Happiness is deep inside us. It is our very core; it is imprinted in our DNA. All we need to do is look within. Have you ever wondered how a smile comes to your lips when you see a gurgling baby; when you see little pups playing; when you listen to birds chirping or butterflies dancing?

Beautiful fragrant flowers make you joyful. Beauty in any form brings happiness to heart. Where did this happiness come from? Did you pay for it? Did you invite it? Did you invent it? No, something that was deep inside you just surfaced. That is the real joy, real happiness, real ananda, and it is inside you.

It is possible to remain in touch with this beautiful state all the time. You can stay in touch with this inner joy if you believe that you are an expression of God (and so is everyone/everything else around you). God is experiencing himself through all of this creation.

Just as we experience joy through the things that we create, including our children, He experiences joy through us. This joy is inherent in our nature. Let us pledge ourselves to access this happiness/joy/ananda, whatever you may call it, 24×7.

Let us look beyond the word ‘happiness’ to the reality ‘happiness’. Realty is a thing to be experienced. Let us open our hearts to this experience. Then God will smile through us and heaven will descend upon earth. Such is my dream and I know its fulfillment is right here in this very moment.

Let us savor this moment. Ah, happiness, so elusive and yet so within reach!

Real happiness is cheap enough, yet how dearly we pay for its counterfeit. – Hosea Ballou

Chitra Jha is a healer, writer, corporate trainer and verbal ability instructor.

Winners view the world as a benevolent place. To Albert Einstein’s famous thought provoking question, ‘Is this a friendly universe?’ the winners always answer in affirmative. They feel that the world is full of great opportunities and wonderful people. Winners see the world as mainly good with some bad bits. The losers view the world as mainly malevolent with some good bits. How do you view the world? Your answer to this question speaks volumes about you and your station in life.

Winners have the habit of visualizing their future in bright details. They approve of themselves. Life is an exciting adventure for them. They live it to the fullest. Losers view life as a chore. If someone casually asks them, ‘How is it going?’ they will open their box of woes. ‘Just getting along.’, ‘Life goes on.’ are standard responses. What do you think life will dole out to them? Like Aladdin’s genie, life would say, ‘Your wish is my command.’

Winners are dreamers. They dream big, because they know that today’s dreams are tomorrow’s reality. They work backwards from a future dream to the present day and make their plans to achieve their goals. Losers too dream, but they don’t back up these dreams with systematic action plan. What are such dreams called?  These dreams are no more than ethereal hot air.

Winners possess another great quality – discipline. Their discipline keeps them going during temporary setbacks. Thus they convert their ‘yearning power’ into their ‘earning power’. What do you think the losers do? When going gets tough, they hang their boots. They proclaim that the luck is not in their favour. They give up too easily.

Winners value time. They guard against procrastination, the thief of their precious commodity, their time. Losers discuss amongst themselves that they will start working one day real soon, but that day doesn’t dawn. They are unaware of the thrill of victory after a job well done. They are not willing to pay the life’s cost of admission to the big league. They do not know the enjoyment of work. They do not put their best efforts into anything. 

Winners take care of their physical fitness. They know that neither their body nor their mind will work at an optimal level without it. Therefore they give attention to their habits, diet and exercise regimen.
Winners have pleasing personalities. They acquire the art of making themselves agreeable to others. They learn to negotiate with others without creating friction of any sort. They are flexible and adaptable. They harmonise with any given environment and possess necessary magnetism to attract others.
Winners understand the value of initiative. They never have to be told what to do and how to do it. They create plans and translate them into actions through their initiative. They do not need to be supervised all the time.

To be a winner for life, identify what your ideal life will look like. Create a compelling vision for your future. Formulate goals for its achievement. Never give up on your hopes and dreams of a bright future. Overcome temporary setbacks. Look at them as great learning experiences.

Earl Nightingale, one of the earlier personal development teachers, and co-founder of the publishing house ‘Nightingale-Conant’, defined success as ‘the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.’ As long as you are ‘progressing’ towards an ideal that you think is worthy of achievement, you are succeeding. Enjoying the journey makes it all the more worthwhile. You will do well to remember that the word ‘worthwhile’ means that your goal is worth your time and energy. Think about that. Are your goals worthy of your life?

If you consider the fact that the price for your achievements is your time, which is all that you have of any real value, you will soon see the importance of having a goal that is worthy of your most prized possession. So go back over your goals and see if they meet the criteria for being worthy of you, not the other way around. If not, then maybe you need to stretch yourself and go for something of more importance to you. You will be a real winner then.

Practically speaking, your actions and your behaviour determine how your destiny will unfold. Knowing that your fate is in your hands, what are you going to do about it? Are you ready to be a winner? Remember in order to get something you’ve got to give something. So give up dependence, procrastination, laziness, need for approval, self criticism, and the loser attitude.

If a window of correcting the course of your life exists, why not open it and let in some fresh air? The basic question, however, remains to be answered. Answer it now. The question is, ‘Are you willing?’
The choice is yours. The window is open. And you can begin now.