It is but satan in us that suggests any kind of self-harm and we should never yield to this wicked suggestion.

I live in India, my younger son studied and lived in San Francisco. I have seen pictures of the Golden Gate bridge there. I think it is so beautiful, an engineering marvel. But just think how many try to use it wrongly, to kill themselves! I thought bridges were meant to help people cross, and not drown themselves, but alas! I was watching the movie ‘The Bridge’ where I actually saw some in the act – it’s so bad, such lovable souls perpetrating such a heinous act! I read that in one year alone, as many as 24 people terminated their lives by jumping down the bridge, and many more thought of, or attempted, it.

Can we blame the bridge for it, no – not any more than we can blame the knife for killing, or the atomic energy for the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in WW-II. Give the same knife to a surgeon and he will save a life, or you can similarly use well the same atomic energy in a nuclear power station – we just need the wisdom to meaningfully use the power of that scientific knowledge, that technology. Well, suicides occur everywhere; in India, many poor, debt-ridden farmers kill themselves by consuming handy insecticides – it’s sad and terrible.

The world is a school, life is all about learning, each experience is a lesson. Those who commit suicide are drop-outs. And what happens to students who drop out? They repeat the class.

We can appreciate how people with suicidal tendencies feel, the agony and frustration that they undergo. They need our love and encouragement. But they also need to understand that by making a timid escape from life by killing themselves unnaturally and cruelly, they will only repeat that ‘class’, with the disadvantage of an extra karmic debt for killing. A murder is a murder, let us realize, whether one kills another or oneself. Suicide, in a way, is the murder of the worst kind, because love like charity must begin at home, with oneself.

It is rather so selfish to run away from life like that. Everyone has problems. It is how we look them that decides whether they becomes a ‘ladder’ or a ‘snake’ in life’s game. Those we leave behind, were not having a cake-walk anyway; they had their challenges. If one had relationship problems with them, they must have had problems with that person too because it is usually mutual. By suddenly leaving them like that, one makes it even more difficult for them – more lonely and saddened.

Nor is there any fun for the person concerned. The whole thing is so sad but avoidable by just a change in the way we look at life and ourselves – one only needs to pause for a moment and take another perspective! We are not what we gain or lose here; my Master taught me these are just dream experiences. We need to keep identified with the observer or dreamer, not the observed or dreamed.

What then is the game behind this creation, what is the mystery? Is there God and if He is, what is He trying to get out of all this mess? Can there be a meaning to it all?

Why a perfect, loving God who sends loving, beautiful prophets like Krishna, Christ, Buddha and Mohammed to earth, permits such pain and suffering for so many, why doesn’t He interfere, instead of indifferently watching all this nonsense?

Why a loving God permits cruelty, pain and suffering? We often wonder why a God, so kind, merciful and omnipotent, still allows so much sorrow, suffering and cruelty in this world.

Well, this situation is our choice, not His. In any picture, there are light and dark shades; in the film shown by a projector, there is a mixture of light and shadow. To make a creation, God had to mix the darkness of delusion to His divine light – the One had to appear as many. You can’t make ornaments from pure gold anyway; you have to add a bit of copper.

This world is a play of mere appearances. What appears is not true, what is true does not appear so. Quantum physics now says the same thing about this world.

We can enjoy this play if we keep up our remembrance of a divine origin. Through ego and ignorance, by siding with the satan in our minds, we get too involved in this play of appearances and we think all this is ‘my’ show, all this is real. The moment the thoughts of ‘me’ and ‘mine’ come in, there is trouble.

But God gave us reason and the ability to develop deeper intuitive understanding so that we can escape the delusion and heal the situation. But we must make the right choices. We are, as a poet put it, made strong enough to stand but free to fall. If we choose to fall, why blame Him? Here is a story someone posted on the net that gives an insight by comparison.

A man visited a barber’s shop in his neighborhood to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they started a casual conversation. They talked about many things.

When they eventually touched on the perennial subject of God, the barber was quick to say, ‘I don’t believe that God exists.” ”How can you say that?” the customer asked. “Well, you only need to go out in the street to realize that He doesn’t exist. Tell me, if He did exist, would there be so much pain and suffering, so many sick, unhappy people and hapless, abandoned children? I can’t imagine a loving God who would permit these things, or be powerless to control them.”

The customer paused, he didn’t really want to start an endless argument. The barber finished his work and the customer paid up and left. Shortly after he stepped out, he saw a man in the street with long, matted, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

The customer quickly turned back and re-entered the barber’s shop. He said to the barber who had meanwhile started attending to another customer, “You know something? Barbers really do not exist.” This naturally surprised the barber. He asked, “How can you say that? I am a barber, right here, and did I not just work on you?”

“No, no!” the customer insisted. “You see, barbers do not exist because if they did, there would be no such people with long, dirty hair and untrimmed beards such as that man outside.”

“Ah, well, barbers of course do exist! What can I do, if people do not come to me?”

“Yes, Exactly!” affirmed the customer. “That’s the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is people don’t turn to Him and do not look for Him. That’s why there’s so much pain and suffering in the world.”

So well, let us not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if we are not willing to even move our feet. God will not declare from a roof-top that He exists. He is too shy and humble for that; besides, He has given us freedom to choose.

He wants to see if we would love Him just for His own sake, and not merely for the sake of His many gifts of life and loved ones, food and water, rain and sunshine….We fail to thank Him even as we consume these. Whether we believe or don’t believe that He exists, He loves us all, just the same, like even an earthly parent who would love his/her child, regardless of whether that love is reciprocated! Wouldn’t the hHeavenly Father’s love be much deeper, much more unconditional, than an earthly one’s?

Happiness is about making right choices. Depression comes from making the wrong choices. We only need to change our consciousness. Look for love – give it to receive it, seek God in the cave of your heart, count your blessings and be grateful for His many gifts, tame your ego…and you will see how beautiful the same life can be.

Well, let us now look at specific things we can do to fight depressive/suicidal tendencies:

1. Exercise everyday. Do anything – brisk walk or jogging, yoga, swimming, long cycling, gym workouts…a combination of brisk walk and yoga (especially, the 12-posture Surya Namaskar series) may really be the best.

2. Get minimum 15-20 minutes’ sunshine every day; choose an hour when the sunlight is reasonably strong – not weak or too strong.

3. Several times a day, do deep abdominal (diaphragmatic) breathing.

4. Eat plenty of seasonal greens/fruits and honey with almonds. Chewing almonds with honey, or slowly chewing previously water-soaked almonds followed by a glass of orange juice really helps.

5. Don’t just think positive – FEEL positive. Feel the blessings of life, be grateful for all that you have received. Think who digests your food, who ensures you do not forget to breathe and your heart does not forget to beat when you are deep asleep.

6. Do some work, keep busy but not too busy – take sufficient rest and sleep.

7. Avoid all addictions.

8. Keep affirming love and forgiveness to all, seek God’s forgiveness for all our ignorant acts.
Remember, what goes out, comes back. Send out only thoughts of love and compassion. If you just feel kind inside for others, if you inwardly affirm love, you will see them responding better and relationships will improve, even if you say nothing.

9. Learn and practise twice daily some Pranayama techniques – this is a very potent remedy for depressive tendencies.

10. As you slowly grow positive, meditate everyday.

Take care. Love yourself.

–

Hans is a chemical engineer  who  worked in sales/marketing for 28 years.  Thereafter, for the last 8 years, he has been a motivational speaker, yoga coach and corporate trainer. In his personal life, he has been practicing yoga-meditation for close to 25 years.

The world is our extended Self. If I want to get along with others, I must first learn to get along with myself. Now, to get along with myself, I have to know myself – or shall we say, I must know my Self? Most of us are ’strangers’ unto ourselves – how can one get along
with a ’stranger’?

In the scriptures of my motherland, India, we compare human beings with a chariot with 5 horses. The 5 sense-faculties (seeing, tasting, hearing, smelling and touching) are the 5 steeds, wayward and unruly, running amuck towards the sense-objects. To control them, we have a rein, which is our sensory mind. It is called the lower mind (manas) because its domain is just two-fold, “I like it” and “I don’t like it.” It is pleasure-driven, being sense-enslaved.

The rein is necessary but not enough. There must be an able charioteer to hold fast the reins. He is our higher mind – the reason, the discerning or discriminating faculty. It is called buddhi in Sanskrit. Its domain extends to deciding whether what is pleasant is also good, and whether the unpleasant things the lower (sensory) mind is rejecting could actually be good for us.

The creamy cake may look temptingly pleasant to the diabetic, but reason tells him it is bad. Early morning walks look so unpleasant, so unthinkable, but if you make it, you are empowered by discriminating reason, that which eventually benefits you. When anger comes on, you want to slap the other person, but reason tells you to hold.

Let us see what right behavior means at various levels of our being – physical, mental, emotional, intellectual & spiritual, etc.

Right behaviour for your body

Your body is not you. You have it, but you are not the body. Treat it like a good employer would treat his employee, giving it its rightful dues, but not pampering it. For example, when you want to eat, find out whether it’s your body’s genuine need (appetite) or your mind’s endless greed (desire). When the body feels tired, find out if it is actually fatigued from overwork or just being lazy, and so on. A Christian saint called his body ‘brother donkey.’ Indeed, the body is the animal in us, our dear beast of burden. Since our aim is to love all, we cannot ignore the body – especially since it is the soul’s vehicle. But we have to remember to treat it wisely – without cruelty, without indulgence.

Right behaviour for the mind

The mind indeed is a drunken, drugged and devil-possessed monkey, unless we learn to control it. The body is much simpler in comparison. We can dominate the body through will. But managing the mind monkey is not a game of just willpower. We need wisdom – a wisdom-guided will. For example, if you order the mind not to think any more a particular thought that it has been chattering about, it is unlikely to obey unless you know the subtle rules.

Why is it so difficult to control the mind? If you know the reason, you will know the cure. The reason is, the sensory mind has excess prana or life-force; it is hyperactive and restless by nature. The mind’s restless habits of thought and action get programmed or hard-wired in the brain, which is the seat of energy or life-force. The brain then drives further habit-driven or reactive actions.

My master, Paramahansa Yogananda, author of ‘Autobiography of a Yogi’ (www.yogananda.org) explains that the energy in the brain is spent in various bodily functions like blood circulation, breathing (movements of diaphragm), digestion, chemicalization, excretion etc., but that most of its energy is wasted in processing our useless or misguided thoughts, feelings and emotions that our big brother mind indulges in.

If somehow the mind’s excessive energy (energy is where the consciousness is), routed through the brain, can be regulated and harnessed, not only will the monkey-mind get quieter, there will be energy available for so many worthy tasks. So we have an energy crisis at micro-level too!

This taming of energy or life-force (prana) is called pranayama in yoga, which is a marvellous super-science for body-mind-soul harmony, but many in the West think yoga is just about some postures for bodily cure. Yoga is about mind technology, which then permits tapping the soul-resources.

We must raise our self-awareness that gives us valuable feedback about our conduct. We can then learn to be, as my master taught me, “calmly active & actively calm.” We can then work smart, not just hard, which even donkeys can do.

Emotions are ego in motion. They are not our highest faculty; even animals have emotions, but they have no guiding reason, no self-awareness and hence no self-control. They have no wisdom, which is much higher than reason.

The world is God’s materialized thought and we are made in His image, so our thoughts also have tremendous creative power. Thoughts shape our destiny, it is they that eventually become things. They create our outer and inner conditions. By yogic mind management, we can choose right thoughts and thereby create right conditions. The presently-popular law of attraction is based on this spiritual truth. Of course, past karma will remain a factor.

Questions are welcome from readers. It is a vast and interesting subject, that has power to transform humans, and through their optimization, it can optimize workplaces. Stephen Covey rightly says that the way we look at the problems IS the problem. We need to have holistic perceptions. Life’s highest truths are the simplest. There is too much of intellectual jargon in modern management. We need wisdom, we need values and we need self-management. You don’t need to manage people, just empower them to manage themselves.

–

Hans is a chemical engineer  who  worked in sales/marketing for 28 years.  Thereafter, for the last 8 years, he has been a motivational speaker, yoga coach and corporate trainer. In his personal life, he has been practicing yoga-meditation for close to 25 years.

Sri Paramahansa Yogananda, the author of ‘Autobiography of a Yogi’, aptly describes this balanced state as being “Actively Calm & Calmly Active”.

Some of the tell-tale signs of a rising stress level are:

• Local tensing of muscles,
• Shallow and rapid breathing with some rise in pulse rate,
• Decrease in focus,
• Reduction in happiness level,
• A nagging feeling of moodiness, grumpiness, negativity and hyper-criticism against others or life in general, etc.

Whenever these happen, we can do some of these:

1. Take a break for 5-10 minutes

This is investing time to eventually save time, because you will come back to work smarter  with more focus. Take deep breaths (abdominally i.e. diaphragmatically), stretch up, have a glass of water, or fruit juice or hot soup (avoid too much tea/coffee), tense all body muscles in a wave and then relax, etc.

2. Exercise every day

Before coming to office, exercise either intensely (heavy sweating) for 20 minutes, moderately (light sweating) for 30 minutes, or gently (series of light stretches) for 40 minutes. For people who have not had regular workouts, moderately is the best; for those who choose to exercise gently everyday, moderate to intense workout twice a week are desirable, but while we can customize our exercise, regularity is always the key.

3. Enjoy your work

Bring your whole heart to it. To work only for salary is a kind of slavery, we must also work for joy and with creativity. While working, be sincere but not serious. Keep smiling and do your best.

4. Manage your time well and prioritize

When with spouse/kids/parents, give your whole attention to them and while working in office, be focused on work, but have no resistance if you have to switch roles suddenly, say because of a phone call. This living in ‘now’, and acceptance-driven gliding between roles, will create a dynamic work-life balance. Mismanagement of time, work-life imbalance, and stress, feed on each other.

5. Mindful eating

We become what we eat and think, so let us choose carefully. Choosing thoughts takes a long practice; choosing foods also needs some mastery over habits hard-wired into our brains and the slavery to taste buds, but with a healthy self-love and care, it is do-able. Never skip your breakfast. Make your last meal of the day two hours before sleep. Eat fresh fruits, seasonal greens, sprouts, almonds, etc. Don’t drink too much water with/immediately after the meals, but any amount an hour later. Drink plenty of water the first thing in the morning.

6. Tame your ego

We all have ego, it is our body-identified lower self-awareness. One can never be completely free from awareness of the self, but it can evolve from the small ‘I’ which limits our consciousness to ‘me’ and ‘mine’, to the big ‘I’ which includes all. Taming ego smoothens relationships. We don’t need any self-mortification here, no need to give up our assertiveness – we don’t have to become a doormat or a vegetable, but we just need to respect others as we respect ourselves, and appreciate their point of view. Our behavior reflects our attitude; our attitude reflects in turn the centering of our consciousness.

7. Learn & practice yoga

Some pranayama (yogic breathing techniques to manage and balance the prana or life force) followed by meditation, will effectively manage stress like nothing else. Pray before and after meditation, and pray for others also.

–

Hans is a chemical engineer  who  worked in sales/marketing for 28 years.  Thereafter, for the last 8 years, he has been a motivational speaker, yoga coach and corporate trainer. In his personal life, he has been practicing yoga-meditation for close to 25 years.

To begin with, the expression itself is a misnomer. Work is a part of life, how can we balance a part with the whole and is it not vain and futile to even try to do that? What is actually aimed at is a work life-personal life balance.

But even that becomes unnecessary when we have the right attitudes, rooted in right values, which create right perceptions. We do not need to get the happy balance in our lives, we merely have to remove the unhappy imbalance that is there in our minds. Stephen Covey knows it when he says, ‘the way we look at the problems, is the problem’.

Imagine senior managers being taken out to some natural resort and made to play some childish games, to develop team-spirit; or people writing slogans to develop the so-called work-life balance! We should realize that so long as people do not get along with themselves (which they won’t until they take time to know and like themselves), they can never get along well with others.

It is all about self-awareness. It is also a major clue to the problem of rising attrition. Nor is this balance about distributing hours. With long working hours topped by an insane commuting time, how many hours can be spent with family anyway? But love and care are matters of hearts, not just hours; two people can stay together for a life time and remain strangers. The key is, where quantity is lacking, quality can surely compensate.

Let us remember that it is not how long we work that stresses us, it is the reluctance with which we look at it and our inability to enjoy it with a happy role-playing detachment. Like the ocean in turmoil at the surface but calm and serene deep down, our outer activity has to be anchored in an inner tranquillity. Our technology is giving us a crazy speed; the inner sense of direction has to keep pace with it.

Unless we learn to do that, even our personal life, which we are trying to side with, in the name of work-life balance, will be a stressor – like at workplace, we shall have conflicts in personal life as we already do. Then, where shall we go? Are we solutioning or escaping ? Unless we have balance in our values, balance in our mental attitudes, there can be no balance in our lives. We indeed become what we think. Unless we choose balance in our thoughts and aspirations, i.e. within us, how is there going to be one outside? We indeed live ‘inside out’.

Work, like love, is probably the most beautiful expression of life – rightly done, it can be liberating. That can happen only when we bring our heart to our work and enjoy what we do – no matter how modest it may be; that’s when the barriers between work and family will melt away; conflicts may occasionally surface but they will always be manageable for a mind that is anchored within.

Life, my master taught me, is a joyous battle of duty and at the same time a passing dream. We take our roles too seriously, with a crippling sense of doership, so we fail to play them well. To consider work and personal life as opposites, and then try to balance them out, is a fallacy. It defeats itself.

We must stop working like slaves merely slogging for livelihood, which will inevitably happen when we work just for money. Money is not evil, but to work for money alone, certainly is. With that attitude there can neither be happiness at workplace, nor in personal life, nor can there be any way for a balance between these two negativities.

Work life and personal life are complementary to each other, not opposites. We do not need to balance them; we need to balance our minds. Cheers!

–

Hans is a chemical engineer  who  worked in sales/marketing for 28 years.  Thereafter, for the last 8 years, he has been a motivational speaker, yoga coach and corporate trainer. In his personal life, he has been practicing yoga-meditation for close to 25 years.