Frustration! It is a word which is commonly associated with feelings of helplessness and sometimes rage. So is there a way out? The answer is a big Yes!

Any human emotion generates a certain amount of energy. For instance, if we feel happy we are naturally energized and can accomplish all those chores which we don’t even like doing. If we feel gloomy, we are sapped and our energy level goes down. So energy is the key which drives us to do something or not do it. The most valuable aspect about frustration is that it generates enormous amounts of energy. The sheer feeling of helplessness coupled with a great degree of determination is the source of that energy. This energy, if properly channelled into action can achieve incredible results to free us from the constraints of frustration.

Here are the four basic steps:

Step-I Acknowledge! (A)

The first and foremost thing is to accept the fact there is a problem or obstacle. You can’t do much about it. And the issue is taking a heavy toll on your life. Even then you are not able to do much about it. You have a problem which is affecting your life and you cannot yet see or understand all the factors contributing to the situation.

Step-II Reassess! (R)

There are some circumstances in our life for which we can’t hold anybody else responsible but ourselves. Some people realise this while some don’t. At the same time there are many things which are beyond our control. I mean there are many uncontrollable issues in life which you have to take in your stride. We have to prudently assess which issues are under our control and which are not. A word of caution here! If we falter at this stage it will mean that we have let things go from our hands.

Step-III Disregard! (D)

If you have decided that there are few things you cannot be in charge of, there is no need to waste and energy time mulling over them. So forget them! Concentrate on those areas over which you have some control and influence.

Step –IV Finish it! (F)

Since you have now identified the things that are under your control and influence, go for it now. Complete the tasks and employ all your pent up emotions in working through those situations. Solutions have a way of coming in unexpectedly from unexpected directions when we embrace our situation fully and begin tackling the source of our distress.

After honestly assessing the situation and breaking down the factors into the categories discussed above, more often than not, you will see that you are out of the frustration zone. Now you see how frustration can be helpful in life? Whenever you are frustrated, don’t be feel helpless. It is simply an indication that you need to put on your thinking cap and sort through the equation with your best analytical skills. The seeds of solution lie within the very problem itself.

This is the first in a series of simple articles on basic personal problem solving. Look out for follow up articles in the weeks to come.

Research phase

When I got to realise that I am out of the business etiquette mould (my last workshop), I was pretty comforted.

But having said that, there was a gargantuan task in front of me. I was supposed to take the scientific theory part of personality development workshop. I say it gargantuan task because it was like diving in ocean and then searching for pearls in the ocean. And it is easier said than done.

The only way out for this was an all-out research! And I did that. I had gone through 4 management books of various universities (the likes of Symbiosis and Amity) .On the other hand I was exploring the web meticulously.

My research continued for around 2 weeks and after a lot of tough grind I was supremely confident of the theory part.

When I think of seven habits part of my presentation it was equally fulfilling. When I came to know that I will be taking this part, I straightaway went to Landmark to purchase the bestseller. And yes, going through the book helped me a great deal. It was a great responsibility on my shoulders to carry off the Stephen Covey’s best seller’s content in a customised fashion.

Design phase

It was decided that the theory part power point has to be developed by me.
As far as power point study on personality development is concerned, I had gone through a pool of it, but it was not of much help as I always believe in delivering customised content. While designing the power point, I always kept in mind that the content has to ensemble the climate and culture of our Sahara Pariwar. After preparing a tailor made power point presentation and getting an OK from my HOD, it was down to rehearsal point.

Deploy phase

I remember very well that during the dry run I was pretty apprehensive. This was because I knew I will have to face plentiful questions about those fiddly theories. There was a rationale behind it. The part of scientific theory I was covering in 13 slides, was just the tip of the iceberg. And if you have to answer the questions well, you need to be ready with the rest of the iceberg. So my hardcore research was handy and enabled me to answer those expected questions. The upshot was extremely satisfying as I was able to handle the queries pretty confidently.

Workshop Goes Live

In my workshops I always believe that trainer is merely a facilitator for learning. If learning has to take place, it becomes very necessary to tease the intellect of the participants in such a way that interaction becomes an integral part of the workshop. The best way of initiating this, I have found, is to call people by their names. This helps in many ways. Primarily, it removes the mental inertia to a great extent, which further helps in unlearning, which is a matter of concern across the globe while conducting interactive workshops. When a participant is addressed by names it comes a pleasant surprise to them, which again helps in removing the dread of a classroom session. Remember, this dread, is a huge deterrent for a congenial learning atmosphere.

At the outset, it was a captivating NLP exercise (brain child of our HOD) carried out by me. Then it was down to the instructor led lead learning. The things began with personality theories. And as the contents progressed; I started loving to explain those theories, with élan.

I still remember that in my MBA days I found it pretty tough to comprehend the Carl Jung theory of personality. In fact at that point of time, I just managed to understand a tad of it. But several years down the line, my trainees comprehending it with ease, it was extremely heart-warming.

As far as 7 habits are concerned, the “buy in” factor did the trick for me. That is why the book is one of the all-time best sellers across the globe. Everybody wants to create a fine balance between ones personal and professional life. And Mr Covey has answered the pertinent question quite pragmatically. Since I had assimilated the essence of the book, the explaining task seemed easy. Real challenge was to incorporate live examples, for which I had done enough homework. End result? Super satisfaction! The warmth and respect I have received after this workshop, has elated me to a great high. I know to outperform this show of mine it will again challenge me!

That is the magnitude of splendour of my profession! Sorry MacDonald and MRTPC, But I am Loving It!

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Nishant is Assistant Manager-Training and Development at Sahara Prime City Ltd, Lucknow. He has trained and mentored 1800 plus people till now. He wants to explore his proficiency further in the mentoring domain. Contact him at nishumoni1610@rediffmail.com.