Author Archive for PK

Analysis. The human mind is very simple. It zeros in on the obvious. The guy whose drawer is in a mess is seen as having a disorganized pattern of thinking too. This is as crude as it can get.

Now marriage as an institution is an attempt by the human mind to bring some order in the chaos that sexuality brings. The average humanity goes through this mill and it is the only kind of evolutionary sadhana an average person goes through.

Marriage is team-work and this is an acquired trait which has to be learnt and practised with serious intent. Of course, we complement each other but most of us would be equally happy living alone, content in our own selfish balloons.

This style of belittling others is a quaint little habit. You will notice it is a regular habit in some people. Their persona is wrapped around it. It is impossible to make a statement or ask these people anything and it becomes an opening for them to show their wit rather than answer the question in a down-to-earth way or give a plain unadorned answer.

Most people think, work and live their life generally with the prejudices that they tend to pick up in their short lives. A good professional education gives them the wherewithal to make something of their lives. Most are really capable and in their chosen field do rise to the top but soon get stuck in their own success.

“I just wanted to help.” How often have we heard this sentence in our lives? There is an old saying: The road to hell is paved with good intentions. This truth came to me in a roundabout but very emphatic way the other day.

There is much talk of progress and success nowadays. Motivational programs are everywhere. In what sense of the word are we talking? For argument’s sake, let’s confine ourselves to the sense of advancement in career and money-making prospects. This then presupposes that everyone would always be striving to improve one’s earning capabilities and keep on [...]

My own experience of life is that we are most of the time playing chess within our lives for no reason. For example when I was 10 or so, some boys wanted to steal mangoes. In the very first try we got caught. I decided then and there that there was no value in this cat-and-mouse game. The next time I wanted a mango, I just went and asked the owner and he gave me one!

As it is, humans are known to be bad listeners. We are so occupied with saying our piece that our ears are perennially switched off. So we have this lovely scenario where everyone is yapping away but there is little or no attempt to ensure that it is all registering at the other end. And this is precisely the point I wish to make.

I see so many children in the park coming out to play with their servants continuously admonishing them, don’t run – you will fall, don’t do this and don’t do that – you will get hurt. As by shouting from far they have done their duty. What kind of upbringing is this?

There is much talk of anger management nowadays. It is good that the negative import of anger is understood now and people have become ready to do something about it if they can.

Have you noticed how some people can speak their part only in outbursts of some kind? They would be otherwise nice, sane people going about their lives in a circular routine that they have built around themselves. Yet, under their calm exterior there is always some undercurrent of judgmental thoughts flowing quietly which keep them perpetually irritated about something or the other.

Control freaks are always in a hurry and in their hurry end up destroying quite a lot of things around them that they themselves have built up. The trick is to let them rant but keep the control of the final action and pacing in one’s own hands

The festive season of Christmas is upon us. As they say we shall all be goaded to unwrap our personas and let the cheerful, forgiving, outgoing and loving side of us, come out in the open. The western media has done such a good job at hyping this period that even slothful individuals do rake up enough energy to unglue their backsides and stand up to be counted.

The title may seem as if I am going to talk about being professionally busy or posing as such. No I have another story this time. These are the two words I hear very often nowadays and I am prompted to talk about some of the incidents that I have experienced.

Let us see if we are we going to take the coming of the new year as an excuse for revelry. Or, while we have drunk ourselves to the ground, we might even take on the onerous task of some introspection which should result in some resolutions to be made. I fear that the resolve to stick to resolutions lasts only up to the second drink.

The effort is to keep ourselves busy with the inane and avoid real contemplation. Hours are spent in discussions. Each and every aspect is dissected from every angle in great detail. The sentences are pregnant with cares. Along with every issue raised there is an accompanying sentence that rationalizes the happenings so wonderfully that no avenue is left to really put in the effort to do something about it. We look for answers but only those that satisfy our own view or desire will find favour with us. This is hypocrisy in action.

Should the mobile phones be allowed in schools? Whatever for? There is nothing wrong in owning a phone and having it alongside for emergencies but to have one alive and in use when one goes to school or college; isn’t it rather self defeating? I mean, you are at school to study and learn new [...]

Dear PK, Do you have a solution (to change in a systematic manner) for tackling with and surviving husbands who bully and shout at wives at the drop of a hat? They just look for mistakes only all the time and never miss an opportunity to shout and insult. This way the dignity of the [...]

Why do we shout when we are angry? I received this question in the mail; and this little story. The story is beautiful and does explain poetically many things but I felt that the question needs to be studied a little more closely and objectively. First the story: A saint asked his disciples, ‘Why do [...]

Greeting My Child.   Today I can emphatically say that I am angry. What is gone wrong with adults? The insensitivity shown towards my child or for that matter other children simply makes me want to strangle them; don’t be fooled my exterior that is smiling benevolently. What has got my blood boiling you ask? [...]

Hidden Messages   “Sorry for the misunderstandings.  Yes, I try to be a good listener and helpful friend, but because of some things that happened lately in my private life I am also temporarily a bit sensitive.  I was afraid that there is a hidden message in what you said because actually I have a [...]

Accumulation Vs Passing-it-on. Everyone is talking of Happiness. Let me talk about unhappiness. Why are we unhappy? In other terms this question reflects our inner being’s query of which way to happiness. If we can find a way to cut out unhappiness, then surely happiness would result? We need to delve a little deeper. Do [...]

The Art of Shirking Mostly people are brought up to be up and doing; you do, you get. In this environment where everyone is up and about it requires a specific state of mind to flow against the river. I used to be one of those who would take a request personally. Later I often [...]

What after all is the concept of God for the average guy?  From what I can gather from the actions and conversations of people, God is the Creator of this world and runs this world. We are supposed to be one of his children or are we and have imposed the idea of being his [...]

Do you like to live your life your way? Then you must absolutely cultivate the art of not listening. Don’t be fooled by all these lectures on listening that will improve your life by making you more efficient and bringing in more value to your existence. It is absolute baloney. Listening never did any good [...]

To find out how other Ticklers and readers responded to these questions click here. If you would like to take this interview as well, mail us your answers at interview@tickledbylife.com. (we will publish only the best responses) What is God? PK: Somebody out there. God or the Big Bang? (or both)? PK: Couldn’t care much [...]

    Silence is Golden.  Discussing the sayings. 8     How often do you go out, sit in your rocking chair and listen to birds and the trees and perhaps the butterflies?   I asked this above question to a group focusing on meditation.   One of the replies is: My inclination lies in [...]

Dressing by women is a cross between their need to clothe themselves and their instinct to undress. – attributed to Confucius ( although I doubt it).   I am a believer. Look at his picture taken from today’s newspaper: Does that leave much room for discussion? What I glean into their deeper consciousness, I would [...]

The Universe has said Yes. Life was designed as a river that flows always onwards. See the miracle happening all around you. The sun rises, the breeze is swishing by, there is water to drink, food to eat and the heart beats all by itself. We had to do nothing. Life was given to us, [...]

Out of ten people who speak about you, nine would have nothing good to say. The one person, who has something good to say, will say it badly. – Pascal.   It is a sad statement about human nature that we find it agonizingly difficult to speak well of others. Praise has to be forced [...]

Discussing the “Sayings” (5)   If you can’t ignore an insult, top it. If you can’t top it, laugh it off; and if you can’t laugh it off, it’s probably deserved. – J.Russel Lyne   I find a great beauty and truth in this saying and in my own life has it has happened more [...]

Life has a way of entering our lives before we have any say. We are conceived and put out to pasture and once out there what else can we do but say “yes”. The first few days and years we have no recollection of but from what we can see from the miracle of life [...]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.   Once I was reading about the concept of beauty and the parameters by which one judges something as beautiful. From the entire reading I came to the conclusion that it is all a matter of habit. The conditioning a mind receives from its environment and some [...]

The first human being who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization. – Sigmund Freud I can visualize the day and situation. Here is somebody confronted by a bigger and better armed hunter and the lesser guy who has had to hone-up on his intellectual skills to survive is in [...]

  Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. – Helen Keller. This is definitely something being said by a philosopher. And philosophers are known to be living in the clouds, rarely in touch with reality. The only one who understand their uttering are other philosophers. From where I stand I see nothing of adventure. [...]

      Doing nothing is better than Being Busy Doing Nothing. – Lao Tzu This sounds simple. Have you ever tried to do nothing? You will be surprised how difficult it is to do nothing. It requires letting go of the feeling that if you don’t do it things will not get done. Then who [...]

Today when I opened the papers, the first thing that put a smile on my face was a comic strip and a piece of news. I was thoroughly amused. It was also proof that the world was in agreement and in tune with me in many ways. A few days back I was talking of [...]

This quote popped out to me like a shot. And it put into beautiful words something that I was trying to understand. Everything became clear in a flash. Edward R Murrow says: Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.   That doesn’t leave much doubt, does it? This is [...]

HR units and trainers are tumbling upon each other and doing great work to give yeoman’s advice to people so that they can improve themselves, execute their jobs better and fit in the working environment with success. I feel most of it goes down with no one and achieves very little. Especially all the writings [...]

It started with a man I saw lifting his hand to intimidate a school girl outside the school where I go to drop my girl. This enraged me and I could not resist intervening. But wonder of wonders, before I could get going, my wife who fears for my well being and is afraid that [...]

Would somebody tell me how valuable I am? Am I more valuable dead than alive? You would of course say “alive”. Truly you would say I am asking a pointless and silly question. Very well, then would you explain to me why nobody could find time to visit Mr. X when he was alive but [...]

A bully is a very commonplace person found everywhere from home to the kindergarten to the senior most executive’s office. Today in the working world there is no escaping the fact that bullies abound there too. Bullies are a fact of life. The physically or intellectually stronger will always attempt to overpower the weaker. In [...]

A reader wrote: I regularly read all the articles at tickledbylife.com. I would like you to carry an article with the title “How to live without money”. In olden days people used the barter system. If this is possible then black money from the system will vanish, hunger for amassing wealth will vanish, so many [...]

When we give something we are always keeping a track of every penny that is going out but when we are receiving we feel that we have never received enough. And then we compare our giving with what is coming in and always the final balance shows a negative balance because compared to what we [...]

Human beings are a funny species. They have many considerations at any given time floating in their heads, all clamoring for priority attention and this gives rise to errors in judgment and decisions. If the error is not of great importance like picking up the wrong file for a meeting, it can be rectified and [...]

The way I would approach this subject is by analyzing the two words first. Why are we afraid at all? It is the opposite of courage. So you have had the gumption to attempt something; this is very fine; rather you should be proud to have stepped outside the comfort zone. And if you are [...]

Some reflections have been heavy on my mind lately. With the information-overload and the speed now available to us, this question has taken a serious importance. Some time ago I was reading some Zen writings and one thing that was made clear is the nature of the human mind as a collector. We love to [...]

A working group is a team effort. One wrong paddler can result in losing the race. An efficient cohesive group can take a company to undreamt heights. A discordant note in this orchestra can spoil everything, even ruin. It is surprising how fast a discontented employee can sink a boat. Worse than having an unhappy [...]

A friend said to me: Today I scolded the watchman of my building very badly because he did not switch on the water pump. Later I saw that his eyes were full of tears. I have always tried talking politely with him but he won’t listen. I scolded him and then he switched on the [...]