Most of us spend our entire lives in the relentless pursuit of happiness. We pull our blinkers on, determined to find this elusive bliss, dismissing anyone or anything that comes in the way of us and our pursuit. Then one day, we suddenly arrive at the end of our lives, exhausted and disillusioned. Our tired eyes tell the story of one that tried but failed as we mutter, “Bliss kept eluding me.” And with that we lay down to the ultimate defeat as Bliss whispers….

But I beckoned to you, and you chose to bury your nose in your work instead of going to camp beneath the stars with your son.

I reached out to you in the form of the sun slowly sinking in the horizon over the Indian Ocean, but you wanted to rush home so you could catch the last 5 minutes of the football match.

I called out to you through the cries of your newborn but you lamented that you had lost your sleep.

I walked by your side, but like the horses that pull carriages in Central Park, you held on to blinkers, set your sights straight ahead and searched for me as if I were a destination to be reached.

And therein she revealed herself. Bliss is not a destination, for if you perceive her as such, she will surely elude you and remain forever a distant, unfulfilled dream.

Everyday Bliss reveals herself in all her splendor and glory. She is in the gurgling of a newborn, the smile of a child and the longing gaze of a lover. She walks this path with us every moment of every day to make our life’s journey meaningful. She is in the mundane pockets of happiness and in every moment she beckons to you.

So come, sit with me on this white sand, and as the sun slowly sinks over the horizon, listen to her twinkling laughter as she dances on the water’s edge.

If you are lucky, a realization springs on you somewhere along the way that there must be more to life. So you start on your quest for the meaning of life, not knowing if and when you will find it. If you are luckier still, you are given a second life to live, and boy do you make it count!

I’m one of those lucky few.

In my first life, I donned my pauper rags and blindly followed the crowd, arms stretched out, begging for handouts, watching as life passed me by. I think that for many, being diagnosed with cancer would seem a death sentence. For me, I was already dead on the inside, thus the notice was welcome. But I discovered, while getting closely acquainted with my own mortality, that an indomitable human spirit lived within me. And the essence of my being shouted out at me, “I want to live!” So I discarded my rags in favour of silk robes and thus was given a new life.

Here is the first lesson my inner spirit taught me

Cancer can be an inhibitor or a catalyst to living your greatest life. Cancer was how I have become closely acquainted with my inner spirit, it was the catalyst that taught me my life lessons. Lessons that while I stumble, fumble and stutter along this path, I will take along. Too often, we cling to our old rags, behaving like paupers, when the opulence of silk robes are but a hair’s-breadth away.

It’s about the Attitude

Learn to develop an attitude of gratitude. I took what I had for granted. I mistook privileges for entitlements and opportunities for rights. I’ve learnt to keep a Gratitude Journal in which I list even the smallest thing for which I am grateful to have in my life. Start out small, by listing the little things you take for granted and often overlook. You will be amazed at how much we actually have and take for granted every day. You might be left in awe of all that you do have and it becomes harder and harder to don those rags again.

Laugh more and for longer

Can you remember the last time you truly laughed? Was it as a child, giggling at a funny face your dad had made? Laughter has a way of naturally bubbling up to the surface. Too often, we’ve been conditioned to think that laughing is silly when, to succeed, we need to be serious. Thus, you suppress the natural spring of laughter until pretty soon, the spring runs dry as you forget how to laugh altogether.
Take time to look at the world through the eyes of a child, let there be wonderment and laughter. Personally, I’ve learnt that laughter is the elixir to a happy life.

Celebrate

Be part of the joy of life. Celebrate your successes and achievements. Learn to recognize those moments when you feel as if you were floating on a cloud and celebrate them. Believe that every day in every way you do something extraordinary. And don’t take that fact for granted. I never felt that I was worthy of applause, thus I never celebrated any success or achievement. After all, there was always a higher goal to aim for. I was my own inhibitor to joy.
I’ve learnt that celebration is a lovely affirmation of who you are, your unique contribution and achievements. Celebrating pays homage to the fact that you are special and that you have the right to celebrate and applaud your achievements.

One moment

Seen in its entirety, life can seem very long. Yet, when I suddenly realized that my long life expectancy might be considerably shortened, I jumped into action. I ran hither and thither, trying to live my dreams, face my fears and fulfill my responsibilities. This left me feeling exhausted and I was no closer to living my greatest life.
I’ve learnt about focus since then. We have only one moment, we experience only one moment at a time, so why not live in that moment. Set your goals, and then follow the course you have mapped out for yourself, one moment at a time.Through focus I have the feeling of finally experiencing life instead of standing along the sidelines watching it zoom by.

Be kind to yourself

I had observed that my mind was a runaway train of negative chatter, chug, chug, chugging along, churning even more noise. And I decided to apply the brakes. A feat easier said than done, so I decided instead, to start by being kind to myself. And in this way, turn the volume of the deafening noise down to a low hum. Eventually, I know that I will succeed at silencing that accusing, blaming, self-reproaching voice.
I know now that the key to positive self-talk lies in being kind to me. If I want to make the turnaround, I need to be kinder to myself. I forgive myself easily now. I remember that I am a spiritual being having a human experience. It is not expected that I be perfect nor is it expected that I live a perfect life. How would I gain the knowledge of how to live my greatest life, if not through the experience of living life itself?

These are the lessons my inner being has taught me. Use it or toss it. Today, at this very moment, I stumble, fumble and stutter my way through life, donned in the finest silk robes, rich beyond my wildest imaginings, living my human experience.