Debatable Points: Should servants be allowed to raise our kids?
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PK | Dec 28, 2009
Should the servants be allowed to raise our children?
My empathic answer is NO. They can be used as assistants to you and as a support system but making them the de facto guardians and tutors of your children is a big NO. What do you want your children to imbibe; the habits and attitudes of your servants? Is this what you have foreseen for your child?
I see so many children in the park coming out to play with their servants continuously admonishing them, don’t run – you will fall, don’t do this and don’t do that – you will get hurt. As by shouting from far they have done their duty. What kind of upbringing is this?
When nothing works they use threats which they cannot ever carry out. The children are no fools. They soon learn to manipulate their attendants. What are we tuning them up for? Surreptitiously we are helping them imbibe attitudes that will hurt them in the long run.
Do you want the child to grow or remain a stunted little dwarf, big in body but small in mind? Do you want to see your child turn into a thinking, self-confident, courageous and intelligent child or a scared, cunning and lying imp?
In many cases the servants who all have mobile phones are so busy on it that they have no idea what mischief the child is up to. Isn’t that an open invitation to trouble?
Filed Under: Miscellaneous
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I assume your post was meant to be provocative and to elicit an emotional response. If not, perhaps you should look up a few words that I would use to describe your article.
ambiguous – maligning – misnomer – overt – patronizing
Then look up a few you used, improperly in my opinion.
empathic – surreptitiously
That being said, I think you simply went on a bashing tirade with child care providers as your target. Your entire article centers around your “opinion” of such care providers, all negative and stereotypical!
Furthermore I am offended by the assumptions you imply. I am both a parent and a professional nanny, and have the unique position to see both sides of this issue. I know from experience, that parents and care providers can be equally guilty of inappropriate behavior. You on the other hand, lay all the blame for a child’s bad habits and attitudes squarely on the care provider. Ultimately, the fault lies entirely with the parent regardless of the situation.
Bottom line, it is the parents and only the parents who are responsible and accountable for a child’s upbringing. They set the standards and expectations for the child, the care provider, and themselves. Funny there was no mention of this anywhere in your post.
I do not know where to start when it comes to your choice of words. Throughout your article you make blatant and denigrating comments that would offend most people. Your claims have no proof to support them, yet you profess them none the less and without responsibility or accountability.
I assure you I could teach your child manners, respect, and self confidence, none of which I found in your words. How dare you make such statements and assumptions without merit. You should be ashamed!
Should we allow care providers to raise our children?
If they think like you, absolutely!!
This is in response to the comment made by Ms K Hall. I can see your point of view here and understand your “takeaway” from this piece.
Based in India, I can both understand and identify, with the author’s sharing of concern, because we don’t really have trained, responsible Nannies out here. At least, in the numbers that make them visible and representative of a professional workforce.
The author, is probably referring to the average “maid” in India who probably cooks and cleans in the house, AND is assigned the responsibility of taking the kid down to the park or play area in the evenings.
Someone like this is not trained to add value in a qualitative sense. The “maid” I am referring to is certainly not in your league of trained and experienced nannies. They are functional and just do the tasks they are assigned.
What authors need to do is constantly remind themselves that in the internet world, everybody is audience and context is what you take from it.
Please don’t think the author intends to malign in any way, because I’m sure he doesn’t and “Tickled by Life” is not the forum where you would do that.
Just my two cents’ worth. And I do hope this does not start a barrage of responses.
I am from India and I’m as appalled and offended by the author’s tone as Ms. Hall. What offended me is the blatant use of stereotypes – servants as being lying, cunning, etc. While we curse and abuse the “maids”, we also rely on them to cook, clean, keep home for us and be surrogate mothers to our children for a few measly rupees. It’s time that we treated servants in a more humane manner before we expect them to do OUR jobs – raise our own children! And Mr. Bhatt, like it or not, you can’t publish such opinion and expect it to go without comment.
I too found the article pretty offensive, especially the term servant. It is both demeaning and long out of date. Wouldn’t it be better for household staff to be titled as such.
Well, first I’d like to comment on the use of the word “brought up”. Even though a child has a nanny or maid or ‘ayah’ as they were referred to in our day, I’m sure one cannot use the term ‘brought up’ in such a broad sense. We are basically brought up by our family/parents with the assistance of a nanny/maid.
I too had an ‘ayah’, who I liked immensely; who never taught me any swear words or other offensive language. She too took me for evening walks to the park, and god-forbid if any one even touched me. She was treated with respect and trusted by my parents.
Whether in India or abroad, whether trained or untrained, every caregiver is screened by the parents and then employed. So if a maid or nanny is found lacking in any department, I guess it is up to the parents to check it or chuck the person out. Generalizing and placing all nannies in the same mould isn’t being fair. As an educator, I’ve found children learning more undesirable things from other places than their household staff.