Graduating From Parenthood

Most of us are conditioned to be nurturing and caring – to the extent that every problem that our children face, soon becomes ours. Given, the current stress levels of modern life, this translates into more stress and angst all around.

In a family where communication has not been encouraged and allowed to flourish, this becomes a bubbling volcano. Soon it erupts, ignited usually by the youngsters as the elders are conditioned to control emotions and reactions.

As parents, our fears are about demands that can’t be met and the disappointments that follow. No parent wants to see his/her offspring hurt and therefore we try steer them into safer harbours. The ships of youth however, are not interested in safety. They hastily unfurl their sails to test the winds and its intimidating challenges, many of which are new to the reality of their parents. Parents as helmsmen keep shouting out words of caution. While the youth says, “Let go, let go.”

Should one let go or not, is the crore rupee question. (Hopefully this would replace “the million dollar question” saying that is popular in western countries). At the end of the day, each is the master of his/her destiny. So, if one has taught the child well and he/she has grown up with common sense and a responsible value system, it is probably time to graduate from parenthood and let go.

Surely as the sun rises in the east, they will fall and hurt themselves. It is still the best time-tested way to acquire maturity and wisdom. But, your teaching, good examples and instilled value system will help them to recover their balance and climb back in stride again.

That’s the true treasure and inheritance you leave behind. If they did not learn how to be resilient while accepting life’s dualities and inevitable disappointments, all material legacies would be useless.

So, if you have prepared them for the mix of challenges, joys and disappointments that are pureed into life then you have grown up, as a father or mother or parents! Now, you have the luxury of regressing into youth again and having a ball! Of course, a part of you will always be there to catch them if they fall and can’t find their way back up. But until then enjoy your graduation from parenthood and take life easy with some cream and sugar.