Heal your self-esteem

One reason why a common man has difficulty in believing that he deserves or can achieve what he wants to is that his self-esteem is usually damaged. And the good news is that it can be revived. Every time we judge ourselves negatively and view every failure as a personal failure, we further damage our self-esteem. Wise people instead of taking it as a personal failure, focus on discovering what went wrong that resulted in a failure. Every time we decide to learn from a failure instead of taking it personally, not only do we protect ourselves from further harm to our self-esteem, we also pave way for the future success.

Baby elephants are tied with a strong steel chain, which it ceaselessly attempts to break away from, but fails. The result? The elephant owners don’t need to use the metallic chain to tie it any longer when it grows into a powerful adult. Why? Because as a result of the thousands of unsuccessful attempts it made as an infant elephant, it developed an unshakeable conviction about its inability to break away from whatever it is tied with. The elephant’s conditioning or conviction did not come into being because of the metallic chain outside him, but because of an inner rope of belief that it built strand by strand with its own self-judgements in the wake of each unsuccessful attempt. Unfortunately we, as parents, let a similar process run through our own children as well — and we are a party to it, even though only unknowingly.

A person with low self-esteem cannot think beyond mere survival. His ability to dream has already been forfeited by the society. And since he cannot dream, he doesn’t feel challenged. In the absence of challenges, he cannot feel the need to mobilize his dormant inner resources…and, undisturbed, the giant within remains comfortably asleep. It is a vicious circle. In reply to a teacher’s advice, “Hard work never kills”, a student replied, “But why take a chance?” Jesus said, “Knock at the door. It will be opened unto you”. But we, like this student, ask ourselves, “Why try, when I am not sure that it will”.

Anil Bhatnagar, CEO of Thrive!, is a corporate trainer, motivational speaker, career and personal growth coach, Reiki consultant, and an award winning author of four books. For more information, visit his website www.anilbhatnagar.com.