All Entries Tagged With: "Family"

I see so many children in the park coming out to play with their servants continuously admonishing them, don’t run – you will fall, don’t do this and don’t do that – you will get hurt. As by shouting from far they have done their duty. What kind of upbringing is this?

Why does she feel the need to dominate our relationship? Why does she hold on emotionally to her son instead of allowing him to evolve into a mature and self-realized man and husband? Why should I be expected to prove myself to her? Surely my obvious respect and devotion to the family should be the measure of my worth as a daughter-in-law and wife? Why must so much of my time and energy be focused on my mother-in-law and not my son and husband?

And so the cycle of life continues continues along for another generation. Sons are born, fathers brim with pride and expectations abound. But with the years they grow apart and there are bruising conflicts along the way. But usually the relationship survives in one form or another.

I recall the haunting song in the hindi film Masoom, which has this line, ‘Tujse naaraaz nahin zindagi, hairaan hoon mein. Pareshan hoon mein. Jeena ke liye, socha hi nahin, dard sambhaline hongein’. This means, “I am not angry with you, life. Just puzzled and vexed. I never thought that, to live, one would have [...]

“We’ll live somewhere else, away from Dad, ok?” I nodded silently, nonplussed about what was going on. I was convinced that none of the confusion appeared on my face, but that was the time I didn’t know how impossible it is to hide things from Mum. I was nine that day. Time has changed since. [...]

“Pull Over Ma’am….” Not words anyone that I know would like to hear on a bullhorn behind the car. But come to think of it, maybe hearing the command at a really high decibel is the only way that we’ll ever move our foot from the gas pedal to the brake pedal and pull over. [...]

In a family where communication has not been encouraged and allowed to flourish, this becomes a bubbling volcano. Soon it erupts, ignited usually by the youngsters as the elders are conditioned to control emotions and reactions.

There are many of us who have been blessed with a single child. As parents we are happy with our one blessing and may have opted out of an addition to our family. There are of course advantages and disadvantages to such a situation. The advantages — we can focus on our one child and [...]

Parents were amazed by the simplicity and honesty of the responses which usually focused on everyday things. The kids were more interested in feeling good and connecting with their parents than they were in expensive toys, computer games or big houses. The children said they were happiest when the family played games together; hugged and showed their affection regularly; communicated openly and showed interest in each other

(Note: This post is in 3 parts. Click here for parts 1 and 2. The author has chosen not to reveal her identity.) There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed, healed and done with. When you’ve finally hit the lowest point, [...]

(Note: This post is in 3 parts. Click here for parts 1 and 3. The author has chosen not to reveal her identity.) No one enjoys suffering though great men tell us suffering has a purpose: “If you have not suffered as you have, there would be no depth to you as a human being, [...]

(Note: This post is in 3 parts. Click here for parts 2 and 3. The author has chosen not to reveal her identity.) No one can tell what goes on between the person you were and the person you become. No one charts that anguish of descending into a private hell. There are no maps [...]

“The word ‘happiness’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” The last few days I was feeling exhausted but I carried on my household duties because I have a house to run and many commitments to honour. In India we teach our daughters that the home revolves around them; women are [...]

For a mother every living day is a special day and yet as Mother’s Day comes around every year, nostalgia take over and I start taking a trip down memory lane. Sweet memories of my childhood home, the adjoining houses, the vast greenery, the simple pleasures of getting around the kitchen table to enjoy a [...]

The phone rang just after I had finished the lunch hour at work. The familiar residence number flashed on my cellphone. I took the call while I walked from my desk to a corner in the office for that much anticipated 5 minute conversation with my ten year old son. “Hey mom,” he said, waiting [...]

I am not a professional expert on perfect parenting, so this article is not about how to bring up a child. This is not advice on how to become good parents. I am simply describing a few experiences which my friends, relatives and I have had as parents over the years. If the person reading [...]

Do we teach the right things? I recall an old Tamil film called Kaliyuga Krishnan. The story was rather simple but very interesting. There is this impoverished man who keeps bemoaning his fate and cursing Krishna. One day Krishna appears before him and challenges him. The Divine One offers to give the man all the [...]

I wanted to share this tribute to my mother as the world celebrates Mother’s Day. My beloved mother is the woman who has given me life and unconditional love, my most cherished human values and the best traditions of my Indian heritage. My mother is loving and kind, yet strong and independent. Tell her a [...]

Marriage and becoming a father happened to me at a relatively young age. Before I knew it, I was a “father” and expected to act like a “dad.” I have been trying to figure out what that means for the past 17 years and am still as lost as ever. However, the journey had several [...]

I remember several tales told to me, as a child, by my beloved grandmother. My grandparents had a huge mansion with several large trees on the spacious compound. All of us, as a family, would gather here every summer as a kind of annual reunion. The days being long, evenings would stretch too. They would [...]

At home, getting into a battle of wills is not something that’s new or rare. Regardless of the size of your family, the possibility of ruffling up each others feathers is always present. Instead of trying to eradicate conflict all together (which would probably be impossible), you should instead focus on how to recognise its [...]

Mention the word ‘metrosexual’ and watch Gramps and Grandma glare at you like you have just said something vulgar. Metrosexual, a word that has recently gained popularity, is a neologism, looked at as the new black. We can go into a whole paragraph defining the meaning of a metrosexual but to keep it simple, it’s [...]

All right, let’s face it. Nobody likes housework. We’ve seen it all on popular TV before. You know, waiting for the weekly visit from your army of housekeepers which includes your nanny, clothes folding guy, ironing lady, washing lady, butler and what the heck, let’s throw in the maid. Oh snap out of it, you’re [...]