The Half Time Bell

My friend Yvonne sent me the following:

Question: How many women with menopause does it take to change a light bulb?

Woman’s Answer: One! Only one! And do you know why? Because no one else in this house knows how to change a light bulb! They don’t even know that the bulb is burned out!! They would sit in the dark for three days before they figured it out. And, once they have figured it out, they wouldn’t be able to find the darn light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the same cabinet for the past seventeen years!

But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, two days later, the chair they dragged to stand on while changing the stupid light bulb would still be in the same spot! And underneath it would be the wrapper that the light bulbs came in because no one ever picks up or carries out the garbage! It’s a wonder we haven’t all suffocated from the piles of garbage that are a foot deep throughout the entire house! It would take an army to clean this place! And don’t even get me started on who changes the toilet paper roll! I’m sorry. What was the question?

Sheesh! Talk about making a mountain out of a mole hill! But that seems to be the story of my life these days. Hormones are real and unbalanced hormone levels in our bodies can cause us to act differently (particularly in us women). Have you ever seen a transsexual and wondered how he manages to look more like a woman than some women?

Did you see the male on America ‘s Next Top model last season? Either he happens to have been born with more progesterone and estrogen than testosterone or he had some injections. Whatever the case, there is an imbalance. As we get older, our bodies stop producing the amounts of hormones necessary for us to lead “normal” lives. Thus we have a world full of old men who are grouches and old women who are witches.

Unfortunately, a lot of people get set in their ways (especially when they live alone) and end up living lonely lives. To top it all off, men go bald and develop large bellies and women have grey hair and square bodies. It’s just a mess! We hate looking at ourselves and each other. No wonder we lose our patience with people and pull out old pictures of ourselves every chance we get.

God told us that we are not going to live forever and Nature tells us that we are not going to be the sexy or buff people we were twenty five years ago!

There are things we can do however:

We can pray and ask God to give us the strength to become more active and less hungry!

We can see a doctor and ask for natural hormone replacements.

We can have faith and believe.

We can be reminded of old people who drive us nuts and make it a point not to act like them.

We cannot give into ourselves. We just can’t. We have to learn to love ourselves. Temper tantrums are accepted for babies but not for us. Mood swings are accepted for babies but not for us. Eating everything we get our hands on is expected from babies, but not us.

Let’s keep it real, if you are my age, more than likely, we have more days behind us than we have in front of us. We want our last days to be a blessing for everyone that we come in contact with (not a burden).

Let us grow old gracefully. And for the rest of you, be patient with us, God is not through with us yet. Remember children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. “Honor your father and mother” is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, “so you will live well and have a long life.” (Ephesians 6:1-3).