The power of words

My brother Raj had a huge crush on this girl ever since his adolescent years. Now in his late thirties, he still blushes at the mention of her name. Today, she has 2 kids, and is happily married…to someone else. Why? He did not ask her to marry him, he never told her he loved her, or had a crush on her, and he never said she mattered.

“Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you.” These words of Christ express a natural law; mainly, the world responds to those who ask. Why then are we afraid to ask, to use those words.

During my school days, I used to dread competition, “what if I lose?” The habit continued, till about a year ago, when I did an inspirational speech. The speech was delivered, and I could almost see the winner’s trophy, when they announced, and winner is…XYZ. They didn’t announce my name. Sure enough, I had lost, or so I thought then.

A little while later an old acquaintance walked up to me. He put an arm around me and said, “Ritu, was what you said about your father having a near death experience, true?”

I confirmed it was. “You see, I have a special child, and I face a challenging situation at home every day, your speech fills me with hope.” I could see his eyes were moist.

A couple of days later, a friend called up, “Ritu, that speech of yours, the one about your father, well it inspired me so much, I hope some day I shall be able to inspire people like that.”

Another acquaintance had quoted the same speech for his icebreaker.

Then it happened! I realized that if I said something and someone made it a part of his/her life, I had touched a life. I hadn’t lost that contest. I had discovered something that worked. WORDS.

My favorite song by Boyzone runs, “It’s only words, and words are all I have…to take your heart away.” 

It is indeed a pity to hear someone say, “If she really loved me, she would know how I feel.” Or worse, “We have so many arguments, maybe we aren’t meant for each other.”

My advice for such couples is that your better/bitter half is not a mind reader. Humans are capable of expressing through words, and experiencing infinite emotions. If you are arguing, congratulations, you are on way to getting to know the other person through the art of expression. Expecting someone to read your mind, is like putting a newspaper out in the sun and hoping it will burn. Use words as a magnifying glass, to direct the sun rays, and the paper will burn. Still suffering from the “read my mind” syndrome? My remedy is, marry a mind-reader, or better still date a brain scan.

My father used to say, “Words are like arrows, once out of the mouth, they can never be taken back, one needs to be careful with what one says!” Another powerful saying goes, “be careful, what you ask for may come true” What if you never asked for anything, you would never get what you could have got had you asked for it. You would never know what you missed. As a child I loved a pair of pink shoes that I saw once at a store. Every birthday, I would secretly hope that my parents or someone would gift me those shoes. Every birthday, you’ve guessed it, I didn’t get those shoes…because I didn’t ask for them. Last year, Christmas time I walked into the store with my mother, looked at the shoes and spoke out loud, “Ma, may I have these pink shoes, please?” Today, the shoes sit in my shoe-rack as a gift from mom.

Percy Ross has aid, “The world is full of genies waiting to grant your wishes.” You need to use those words, to marry the girl of your dreams, to influence someone, to get your emotions across to the person you love, or to get the shoes that you want. To learn what you can get you need to ask for what you want.

Often, when a person is gone, we give long eulogies, but how many of us bother to tell a person how wonderful he/she is while he is still with us. Use those magical words… be it “I love you” or “I am sorry” or “Will you be mine” or “This is what I meant” or “May I have this” or “You mean the world to me” or “You matter” or “You made a difference to my life”.

Use the power of words. Keep talking. Keep writing. Keep influencing!

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Dr. Arora is a freelance corporate trainer, Reiki master, feng shui consultant and aromatherapist. A periodontist by education, a Toastmaster by passion, she has been actively associated with radio, theatre and fine arts. Visit her websites www.mentalsparks.com and www.camelliastory.com.