The Questions Teenagers Ask

I recall the haunting song in the hindi film Masoom, which has this line, ‘Tujse naaraaz nahin zindagi, hairaan hoon mein. Pareshan hoon mein. Jeena ke liye, socha hi nahin, dard sambhaline hongein’. This means, “I am not angry with you, life. Just puzzled and vexed. I never thought that, to live, one would have to handle pain”.

At the end of the college admission season in India, there is a quite sense of bewilderment in the minds of most children and also parents. In spite of the stated admission criteria by various colleges, one gets to hear of stories that qualify for “Ripley’s Believe It or Not”.

A supposedly reputed college ranked on the top in several disciplines has a very strict admission procedure. Recently I heard that students scoring 90% plus were passed over and those with significantly lower marks were shortlisted. I wonder why or how. Maybe, they believe in the “Mata, Pita, Guru, Deivam” philosophy. Which is first is one’s mother, and then the father and then the guru and only lastly is God. Assuming that one cannot understand God and needs to accept the thought and presence of God, maybe this college follows the amalgamation of these ideas!

What is the effect on the mind of a hard working top-scoring student when he hears such instances? Will there not be questions about the relevance of hard work or faith in the system? Will such individuals be motivated to further persevere and put in increasingly hard work to progress in life? Won’t the theme from the Masoom song haunt their thoughts?

It will. I am sure not only in India or with regards to college admissions. This is a pattern that often is seen in many lives and a person has two choices. To give up or go on.

When youngsters ask me this question in all innocence and full of pain, I tell them a few things:
1.    Life is not fair. At least not always.
2.    You have to pick up, dust yourself and move on or be defeated by lies, corruption, dishonesty, etc.
3.    The world is made better, because there are courageous people who get up and run the race again.
4.    Winning is more about being in the race and not giving up.

As parents we all face many such instances when the innocent faces of our children turn towards us in confusion and filled with innocent questions for which we have no answers. My suggestion is to be frank and tell them that life does not always have answers. But, one needs to “keep walking” as the advertisement for a famous whiskey says.

I am now reminded of another hindi song, an oldie; “Musafir hoon yaaron, na ghar hain, na thikana, mujhe chalte jana hain, Bas. Chalte jana”. Which means, I am a traveller with no home or destination to speak of. I just need to keep walking and getting along.